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Google Street View has finally landed in Sri Lanka. This is a response from within the Tamil diaspora that has longed to see their home villages for so many years…

A glimpse of the streets we would have called home,

I’m laughing in the park, climbing the coconut trees,

Cycling through the dusty lanes, playing at the local spots.

It’s a strange relationship: Caught in opposition of the surveillance state,

And, gratitude, for finally seeing the corners we’ve never seen.

No war, no displacement: what would our lives have been?

How would the fight for our liberation have compared

with the struggle against white supremacy?

What would have replaced the anxiety of oppression?

The effects on the psyche – to be accepted,

Not longing for belonging, nor grappling for identity:

We look the same.

We talk the same.

We eat the same.

We breathe the same.

But when one battle is removed, another is present.

Would we be strapping ourselves to the frontline

Trying to tear down class and caste boundaries?

How would we destroy these indoctrinations?

Would the effects of colonisation flow more deeply

through the veins of our community and be more evident there?

Is there a similarity between being

a black woman, in Clinton’s America; and

a Tamil woman, in Bandaranaike’s Sri Lanka?

They stood on the backs of the most marginalized,

To stretch out, reach out, and crack the glass ceiling.

We’re dreaming.

Walking these streets, imagining our lives,

Children of refugees longing for the homeland,

Children of immigrants straddling the borders, confused.

‘The grass is always greener,’ they say,

and certainly if we lived there, we’d long for the opportunities here.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t acknowledge

what could have been.

What might have been.

What we know, deep down, is missing here.

A town we’ve never seen,

Streets we’ve only heard rumours of existing,

Years wandering what it must be like. And now we know.

It’s dirty, it’s cultural, it’s desolate.

It’s warm, it’s underdeveloped, it’s beautiful,

and it has a rich history… our history.

It’s the life that might have been; it’s a home I don’t know at all,

A town so far away,

And yet… a strange familiarity lingers.

Photo source: Creative Commons Flickr – www.flickr.com/photos/fabi11

The post The Other Side appeared first on TamilCulture.com.

Gayatri Nair’s cover of Drake’s new single, One Dance, has to be seen to be believed. Check out this incredibly talented young artist’s work below:

A classical pianist and singer from Peckham, South East London, Gayatri has performed in the most prestigious venues across London. She currently studies at Purcell School for young Musicians in Hertfordshire, an international school for prodigiously talented children from around the world.

Feature image courtesy of Gayatri Nair’s Official Facebook page.

The post Gayatri Nair’s Cover of One Dance Will Blow You Away appeared first on TamilCulture.com.

“Healthy bodies are in!” proclaims the feature article of a recent issue of People magazine. As I was reading the title over the shoulder of the short, balding gentleman in a navy blue business suit standing next to me in the subway, two things struck me. One, many people don’t like you reading over their shoulder. And two, more importantly, health and fashion are interlinked!

Right.

Since when did a healthy body have to be ‘in’ to be sought after? Why are they even linked?

Regardless, this article (subtitled “Extra Curves Ahead”) profiled some of Hollywood’s celebrities like Sandra Bullock, Drew Barrymore, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Jennifer Lopez, who were getting off their negative-weight inducing, “low fat, low calorie, low food” diet, and were starting to put on some curves. “Of course, no one is claiming that Hollywood’s obsession with thinness is over”, the article goes on to claim, but more and more the actresses they profiled weren’t afraid to admit that “Yes, they eat; yes, they enjoy it; and no, they are not finding that they have to be a size 0 to get work.”

Well, ahem, maybe the well established actresses are letting a little loose now that they’ve established a following. But how are the newbies doing? This article states, “Less established actresses in particular don’t always have the option of ignoring the scale.” Back to square one it seems.

Daily, health magazines and news stories in Life sections are bringing us the news of our society’s health. The word from the frontlines is not optimistic. Teen eating disorders are on the rise. A recent article by Bergen Record states that eating disorders are becoming more widespread among adolescents. The article also cites a national survey done in the US that says that 13% of girls and 7% of the boys they studied had eating disorders like anorexia.

What is anorexia? In an article titled “Introducing Anorexia Nervosa”, Dr. Peter Rowan says that it “is an illness that mainly affects adolescent girls although it can occur both in boys or girls younger or older than this. The most common features are loss of weight coupled with a change in behaviour. The personality changes that he/she may experience will be those of increasing seriousness and introversion. He/she will become less outgoing and less fun. He/she will usually begin to lose contact with his/her friends and may appear to lose interest in everything apart from food and academic work.”

The human body is a very versatile piece of machinery with the ability to cope with periods of semi starvation and weight loss, but the return to normal eating patterns and weight is imperative to a continued healthy lifestyle.

As the period of starvation increases symptoms like cessation of the menstrual cycle, reduced circulation to the hands and feet, loss of ability to have children and even the increased risk of heart failure become imminent. Prolonged weight loss through abnormal methods during adolescence can also retard growth.

Then why engage in it? Most young hormonally-charged teens are all after one thing in high school – acceptance. When you’re in a new country this need for acceptance multiplies. If the only way to make sure that you are popular and have lots of friends is to look thin, then teens (stubborn mites) will go all out to get it – engaging in acts of starvation and vomiting after meals. Other causes include the personality of the person in question, stresses (often outside the home) and aspects of the family and relationships of the individual.

In the Tamil community in particular, there is great pressure from the extended family to look a certain way. Although for the most part parents do not put any such pressure on their kids, there are many young girls who are often exposed to the blunt comments of grandparents, chittis, chittappas, mamas, mamis and everyone else regarding their bodies.

I’ve also heard it said that if it’s movie starts who are the trend setters, then why do Tamil youth need to be concerned over issues such as anorexia? In a very striking way, actors and actresses in Tamil films have been, by and large, more robust and full-bodied than their Hollywood counterparts. At the very least, none of them have the sort of waif-like thinness that is embodied by people like Calista Flockhart. Although the recent trends set by Aishwarya Rai seem to tend towards slim and lithe, no one can deny that one of Aishu’s most attractive physical traits are her luscious curves. She has the kind of natural roundness that can’t be artificially induced.

But the pull of Hollywood far outweighs that of Bollywood here on the Canadian scene. As noted by Rx Remedy Inc., eating disorders are becoming more and more prevalent among immigrant youth. Emily Wax of the Washington Post recounted one such immigrant’s story. “Dee Park’s long high school day began like this: accelerated math and English classes, then gymnastics practice, then a run-in with a boy teasing her about her muscular body – ‘You’re Asian, and you’re supposed to look smaller’”, he taunted. Then she was off to a family dinner, were her parents praised her as the ‘perfect daughter’. That’s when the frazzled 15-year old ran to the bathroom. She knelt on the cold tile floor and forced herself to throw up – entering the private, painful world of bulimia and anorexia.”

What’s needed is to change the stereotype. Youth haves to be urged to start feeling comfortable about themselves and their body image. Different body types are beautiful in different countries. We just need to put emphasis on the fact that girls and guys can be beautiful regardless of body type. I’ve seen women who aren’t anywhere near the thinness of fashion models look strikingly beautiful. Beauty isn’t weight – it’s an attitude. Regular exercise and healthy eating is the key to gaining a healthy body weight and feeling good about yourself.

So, keep healthy, exercise regularly and do NOT under any circumstance read over the shoulder of a balding gentleman. If looks could kill, I wouldn’t be able to write this!

Here are some questions to ask yourself to judge whether you are at risk of having an eating disorder:

Do you make yourself sick because you feel uncomfortably full?
Do you worry you have lost control over how much you eat?
Have you recently lost more than one stone in a three month period?
Do you believe yourself to be fat when others say you are too thin?
Would you say that food dominates your life?

– Suki Mahalingam

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In the eyes of nature, beauty is independent of skin complexion

“If a girl is dark or ugly, she shouldn’t expect any attention to come her way,” said an acquaintance casually. As someone living in India, I’ve got used to statements like this. The surprise lies in the person saying so. In this case it came from a clothes designer, someone I thought would have a more informed opinion.

The message that melanin, that substance which causes pigmentation of skin, is bad gets repeated in different ways for most Indians. Even India’s biggest heartthrob, the dark skinned Lord Krishna is played by a fair-skinned actor in the mythological TV serial Mahabharat; ditto for Draupadi.

Most photo studios will photoshop a face to make it lighter or gora, even if it looks shoddy and unnatural. Recently, an Indian commercial showed (without telling so explicitly) that a fair, glowing face is useless without the same effect for the lady parts (see ad below).

For years, Indian commercials have shown a fair skin as the solution to all of life’s problems. The typical ad shows a disappointed woman applying a “fairness” cream which then takes her to a happy marriage/the Oscars/a tennis grand slam (yes, even that!).

But what if someone liked dark women, those who fell outside society’s template of beauty?

I struggled with this problem for years. My first crush was for a girl with a dark complexion. Before I could admit that, one of my friends described her “as ugly as a maid-servant’s daughter.”

This insensitive remark reminded me for years that it was easier to admit attraction for a fair-skinned girl. In case of a dark girl, it usually invited disapproval or confusion which translated into, “Are you sure you like her? You can do much better than settle for her.”

I find it hard to explain to those around me why I consider Marion Jones, Laila Ali, Eva Mendes and Mindy Kaling beautiful hot. It goes unnoticed when I say the same for Maria Sharapova, Julia Roberts, or the occasional Bollywood actress.

I can imagine some of you already saying, “So what is unusual? Beauty is always subjective, or as they say in the beholder’s eyes”.

If it had been subjective, there would have been many others in India who would have liked chocolate-coloured women. As things stand, using the term chocolate-coloured instead of dark-skinned itself is a big leap.

Admittedly, every culture has or had its idea of beauty. Nigerian men want their wives to look “well-fed” for which the women are sent to fattening houses. The Chinese preferred women with small feet while some Burmese women liked the appearance of a long neck for which they wore brass coils. Seen alongside these examples, the preference for a fairer skin seems harmless, right?

Well, not exactly. For one, the brass coils for necks and shoes for small feet are making their way out. Yet, be it bathing soaps or fairness creams, the so-called need in India for a fairer skin is being endorsed by every major star, be it Bollywood or the film industries down south. And these products, which are neither safe nor effective, have expanded their customer base to men now.

The worst aspect is how many Indians, even the educated ones, consider a fair skin to be essential and natural to attractiveness. For many Indians, a melanin-rich skin—that sounds better than dark, doesn’t it?—can ruin the perfect figure of 36-24-36 for a woman. And for men, it will shave off a few points even if one has an eight-pack abdomen. In other words, melanin has the same effect as bad breath, body odour, and dandruff in the perception of attractiveness.

In such a context, it might be scandalous, gimmicky, or just plain radical to assert that complexion should have no bearing on a person’s attractiveness. It is none of these as it is backed by evolutionary psychology.

A good part of sex appeal is a code hard-wired into us through years of evolution. Which is why, a tall, broad-shouldered man with a chiselled body will make heads turn. Likewise, women with fuller lips, wide hips, long hair, and ample breasts will get the most attention. It is just nature’s way of helping us find the most suitable mate.

In this scheme of things, complexion plays very little role in deciding sex appeal. Far from being a disadvantage, it is an adaptation that helped early humans in tropical areas from the effects of UV rays.

Of course, we have all come a long way from being cavemen and judging potential mates based only on the size and shape of their body parts. The point here is how preference for a certain complexion is entirely a cultural creation.

More importantly, if the complexion cannot be used to judge beauty, how can it be used to judge someone’s character or anything that matters?

But I still prefer a man or a woman with a fair skin? I can’t change it.
Well, I don’t intend to change your mind either. The aim is to merely tell what kind of preference it is. If you had been swapped into a different family in the delivery room of the hospital, you may well have developed a crush on Mindy Kaling. Regardless, like your opinion, you are entitled to have your own idea of beauty.

Which is why, the fair skin obsession is a bit like the sex appeal of stubble, handlebar moustache, waxed chest, or a head full of bouncy hair. That said, one just has to go around to find women who dig exactly the opposite things such as smooth cheeks or a bald head. And this is where one says that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

In spite of all this, there will be those who tweak their body or use props to fit a certain template. So we have people going under the knife for the “perfect” nose, bigger breasts, rounder butt, taller body or a head full of hair. Thankfully, these enhancements look perfectly natural for the most part and achieve the desired effect.

If only the same could be said for all the lightening/whitening creams. Most of these supposedly “miraculous” and mercury-laden compounds don’t last a downpour or a stroll in the afternoon sun. Unless you want to go down the path of Michael Jackson, there really is no affordable or effective way to lighten your skin. And like it or not, you will pass on your share of this dark skin to your kid(s).

It would be much easier to just embrace the truth. When it comes to judging a person, his/her complexion doesn’t matter. And the people who think otherwise matter even less. After all, nature gave us this sunscreen not so that it could be called ugly.

The post Maligning Melanin (old) appeared first on TamilCulture.com.

Did you know that eating Tamil foods can help prevent and even reverse Type 2 diabetes? Read on for 5 specific tips.

Take a moment to think about how many people you know who have diabetes. Like me, you’ve probably come up with a few. Diabetes in the Tamil and South Asian community is so common today.

Poor eating, inactivity, being overweight or obese and genetics all contribute. Making small changes can have a positive impact. Food, above all, is the most powerful tool in preventing and reversing diabetes.

Unfortunately, a lot of Tamil food today is unhealthy. Many dishes are deep fried in poor quality oils, high in refined ingredients and contain lots of sugar. It’s very different than what our parents and grandparents ate. The good news is that returning to nourishing, home cooked Tamil foods can be lifesaving and diabetes-fighting.

First, Some Facts

Type 2 diabetes is the most common and costly chronic disease worldwide. It is caused by the pancreas’ inability to make enough insulin or the body’s inability to properly use the insulin produced. This leads to high blood sugar levels which can damage nerves, organs and blood vessels.

South Asians are two to five times more at risk of diabetes than other ethnic groups. India alone had nearly 50 million people with diabetes in 2010, and is expected to have 87 million by 2030. In Tamil Nadu, 10% of the population has Type 2 Diabetes and high numbers have pre-diabetes. Diabetes may also start at younger ages among South Asians and at lower levels of risk factors like body mass index.

The South Asian diaspora is also affected. They have higher rates of Type 2 diabetes compared with other ethnic groups in their new countries.

5 Ways Tamil Food Can Help Prevent And Reverse Diabetes

Just as poor eating has contributed to high rates of diabetes among Tamils, Tamil foods can in fact help us reverse this. Food is the most powerful tool in the fight against diabetes.

1. Plant-Based Meals

Tamil cuisine has an endless variety of vegetarian and/or plant-based dishes. From okra curry to lentil curry to coconut sambal, Tamil foods are rich in delicious and nutritious plant dishes.

Eating a mainly plant-based diet is associated with better blood sugar balance, heart health and healthy weight. All of these have an impact on diabetes. Check out this interesting video on reversing diabetes with a plant-based diet.

Okra Curry Ingredients

2. Healthy Oils and Fats

Coconut oil, ghee and sesame oil are among the main oils in the Tamil kitchen. They are excellent for heart health, blood sugar balance, healthy cholesterol levels, fat loss and metabolic balance.

Ditch canola oil, corn oil, peanut oil, cottonseed oil and other low-quality oils that contribute to weight gain, poor metabolism and inflammation.

3. Return to Whole Foods

In its original form, Tamil cuisine is full of nourishing whole foods. Some examples include lentils, chickpeas, beans, red rice, brown rice, fish, poultry, eggs, honey, fruits and vegetables. These are some of mother nature’s most powerful medicinal foods.

For centuries, they have nourished our ancestors. Bringing some of these amazing foods back into our kitchens can be the beginning of the diabetes revolution.

Lentil Soup

4. Heal With Spices

I don’t know a Tamil kitchen that isn’t fully stocked with spices of every stripe. Spices are the bedrock of our cuisine for their flavour, subtle or intense tastes and potent nutritional properties.

From turmeric to cumin to ginger, the spices in Tamil cuisine are among the most healing and disease-preventing foods on the planet.

Diabetics would particularly benefit from spices. Turmeric, cinnamon, ginger, fenugreek, cumin and chilli powder are some great examples. Benefits include anti-inflammation, healthy cholesterol levels, reduced hypertension and even promoting insulin sensitivity. See the research findings here.

Spices

5. Eating Better Sweets

Tamil cuisine is a sugar lovers’ paradise. The list of sweets is just as dizzying as the list of spices! Every gathering seems to be as much about eating desserts as it is about seeing one another.

Unfortunately, these desserts are a big culprit in the diabetes epidemic. White sugar, brown sugar (which is white sugar + molasses for colour) and condensed milk are some of the main “X factor” ingredients. They make everything from kesari to ladoo to milk toffee so delicious and addictive.

Ladoo

Eating fewer sweets is the best way to tackle the problem, but of course the harder way. But there’s good news! A lot of these unhealthy sugars can be swapped out for better ingredients. Raw honey, Sucanat, raw sugar and maple syrup are some substitutes that can be used in Tamil desserts.

Take Away

For Tamils and South Asians suffering with diabetes, it doesn’t have to be a sentence to live a lower quality of life and eat boring food. Taking control of your food by actually eating real food like wholesome curries, tasty stir fry dishes and delicious desserts can make a big difference. Preventing and reversing diabetes through food is possible, realistic and achievable.

Check out www.lidvinawellness.com for more great posts on health and wellness.

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Toronto’s Prasanthan Aruchunan is making history.

The 17-year-old from Westview Centennial Secondary School is the first student in Ontario to receive the National Hockey League scholarship from the Thurgood Marshall College Fund.

It’s an academic scholarship awarded to a student in the NHL’s official youth development program, Hockey is for Everyone (HIFE), who has achieved at least a 3.0 GPA.

A criterion easily met by Aruchunan, who maintains a 94 per cent average.

If that’s not impressive enough, he plans to use the scholarship to study mechanical engineering at the University of Waterloo.

Read the full story at CBC here.

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An IIT-Madras student’s video on arranged marriages has gone viral and was recently published by the Times of India. Consider myTamilDate as an alternative, perhaps?

The post “Be Our Pondati” Video About Arranged Marriage Goes Viral appeared first on TamilCulture.com.

Talk about another step forward within the South Asian community!

Being anything but heterosexual can be a huge challenge in the South Asian community, especially when it comes to telling your parents about your preferences. This was Rishi Agarwal’s fear when he had to reveal to his parents that he wished to marry another man. While initially shocked, his parents Vijay and Sushma Agarwal were supportive of his decisions, but faced external roadblocks when they went about planning their son’s wedding in 2011. They were turned down by 7 Hindu priests before finally finding one to carry out the religious ceremony.

With all the ignorance about the LGBTQ community they faced personally, Rishi’s parents have decided to do something about it:

“…it’s because of attitudes like those of the priests that Vijay and his wife Sushma have decided to launch a new Peel chapter of PFLAG (an organization for parents, families, friends & allies of the LGBTQ community). It’s open to everyone but especially targeted at the South Asian community in Brampton and Mississauga, where LGBTQ kids sometimes face closed minds.”

Telling Tamil parents about dating someone of the opposite sex is difficult enough, revealing same-sex relationships becomes all that much harder. However, with proper education, support and resources, parents can overcome the cultural stigmas they’ve grown up with.

“I never thought in my wildest dreams that I could have the wedding that I wanted with the person I loved and with all my family and my friends.” -Rishi

Read more on this story at The Star.

Recommended read: Seeking Gay Tamil Man.

Do you have a personal story relating to this topic that you’d like to share with our readers? If so, please contact us at info@tamilculture.com.

The post South Asian Parents Take a Stand in the LGBTQ Community appeared first on TamilCulture.com.

Does colourism exist in the Tamil Community?

It most certainly does. How often have we heard comments about our skin colour, or sympathetic remarks about someone who could be beautiful if they were only a little fairer?

Once, during a family party when I introduced my daughter to an elderly woman, her first comment was that it was too bad that my daughter was not as fair skinned as me. Is fair skin still a highly sought after symbol of beauty in this day and age?

If you are from a Tamil household, you are no stranger to relatives passing judgement on your skin tone at some point or another. If you are darker-skinned, you may hear suggestions on how to lighten your skin or defensive comments from your family about how you were born with milky light skin but it has gotten dark from being out in the sun. On the other hand if you are light-skinned and even get the slightest bit of tan, you will often hear remarks about that too.

I am constantly teaching my daughter that skin colour doesn’t matter and she has beautiful skin just like someone else with a different colour skin. However, these constant remarks from others, especially in the summer months when she gets much darker, have an impact on my little girl as it does on many other children. Children internalize a lot of things and often bring them up at random times. “Mommy I like your skin, it’s so nice and light” said my 4 year old daughter one day, expressing concern over her skin colour. She even commented that my skin was “nice and peachy.” Where does she even get these terms?

With constant remarks about skin colour and the need to be light-skinned, what are we teaching our children? It breaks my heart to hear kids talk about their skin colour and appearance as they are still developing their perceptions on beauty.

Are there even proper terms in Tamil to describe someone’s colour? For example darker skin is usually referred to as “karuppu” (black) or “niram kuraivu” (less colour, not very accurate when you think about it). How about the equivalent of “tanned.” All the words I can think of mean dark skin or darkening of skin. I would love to be enlightened on this matter if someone knows of positive terms to describe tanned skin.

When light-skinned non-Tamils get a tan they usually hear positive remarks such as “Wow you are glowing, what a great tan, have you been on vacation?” This is not the case for us though. When I hear comments that I have gotten darker from being out in the sun, I often want to scream out “should I stay locked up inside”? The comments on skin colour may also start as early as when the baby is born, when relatives start to remark on the baby’s skin colour.

I know quite a few women who worry about their dark skin tones. They have been made conscious of this their whole lives due to the “light skin” standard. The media and community standards on beauty have always been based on a preference for lighter skin and a slimmer physique. We are not the only community with this perception but we need to start recognizing the fact that skin colour is not a reflection of someone’s character or beauty.

The point is not to disregard colour altogether and teach children to be colour blind. Instead of teaching our next generation superficial values about skin colour, we should teach them about diversity and inclusivity. We should teach them to recognize, accept and respect differences in people.

The next time you hear someone comment to you or your child about dark skin, you can try responding with one of the following:

Applaud them for pointing out the obvious (this is more effective if you clap your hands really loudly and say something like “Wow kandupidicheteengal”
Tell them not to worry as it’s only temporary and will wash out soon.
Agree with them and tell them they are looking a bit dark themselves these days; is it something in the air? Are they sick? Regardless of how light or dark they are this will surely set them off in a panic.

Jokes aside though, we need to start pointing out how ridiculous these comments are when we hear them. We can definitely do so in positive ways. For instance, politely thanking them for the observation but state that skin colour is not very important to you or your family. Comments about skin colour have a negative impact on children and adults alike over time; especially when children realize that their skin colour is something they cannot change and become unhappy for not conforming to societal standards. We can help children develop positive feelings about their skin colour so that they will grow to recognize and appreciate differences. We should teach them to accept people of different colours and understand that no colour is better than another.

The post Colourism in the Tamil Community appeared first on TamilCulture.com.

It was officially the start of summer. The sun was scorching, the entire city was hibernating in air conditioned caves and all I wanted to do was sit in front of my fan, drinking my ice cold lemonade. Except I made plans to go out for dinner with an old friend visiting the city and I had to get ready soon. As I begrudgingly walked through my apartment trying to figure out how to look decent in public while wearing the least amount of clothing, the thought of blow drying, straightening and styling my elbow length hair made me want to hide in my air conditioned room until the Fall! It may have been the heat, but for one split second, I thought how blissful it would be to just cut my hair off. All of it.

madhu

Throwing my hair into a braid, I met up with my girlfriend and we chatted about our culture’s fixation with long hair. We’re told that boys like girls with long hair, and that short hair makes girls either intimidating, crazy, or lesbians.

In the South Asian community, girl’s hair is idolized so much that even the thought of cutting it is considered sacrilegious. Any aunty would tell you that good, wholesome, girls have long hair. Look at the movies- how could the hero affectionately tug the heroine’s braid during a love song if it was all chopped off? How else would the heroine strut down the street, as the crowd gawked at her, without seductively flipping her hair over her shoulder? Even in the movie Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Kajol with short hair was considered the friend, while years later; Kajol with long hair was considered Shahrukh Khan’s lover.

Even Western society’s beauty ideals exemplify women with long hair. If the advertising on tv, magazines and Instagram hasn’t convinced you that we’re a hair obsessed culture, then take a look at Chris Rock’s documentary, “Good Hair”. There’s a billion dollar industry that doesn’t just sell hair extensions and weaves but all the feels that come with having the luscious Victoria Secret-esque hair.

Yet, the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to cut my hair. I didn’t want to spend an hour each day on my hair- the brushing, curling, straightening, spraying, frying, damaging. Frankly, I was ready for a change. So I took the plunge. With each snip of the scissors, I felt more and more carefree. I was no longer hiding behind my hair and as the locks of hair fell to the ground, I felt lighter. #shorthairdontcare

short hair

In the end, I chopped off 10 inches of my hair, and it has to be one of the best decisions I’ve made. I wake up in the morning with a little bit more confidence. It only takes 10 minutes to style and even the most traditional of the traditional aunties have complimented me on the cut.

While the new haircut makes me look good, it was the feeling inside that really mattered. I donated the 10 inches to Locks of Love, a public non-profit organization that provides hairpieces to financially disadvantaged children in the United States and Canada. So girls (and guys), if you’re thinking of cutting your hair short this summer- do your research. Search online for pictures of haircuts you like, talk to your hairdresser to see which cut suits your face, and most importantly, remember that hair grows back!

For more information on where to donate your hair, please visit:

http://www.locksoflove.org/

http://www.cancer.ca/ontario/support%20services/hair%20donations.aspx

The post Cut the Crap: Why Girls Shouldn’t Be Afraid to Chop Off Their Hair appeared first on TamilCulture.com.

When you’re born with a sibling or more, there tend to be times where you either want to hug them to death, or you want to choke them to death. If you’re the oldest sibling, you’re like me. Plenty of times, we’ve gotten blamed for their mistakes, have had to forgive their actions when it really sets us off, and, most importantly, we’re supposed to be their biggest role model. Being the oldest child in a Tamil family certainly has its perks and downfalls. Here are a few.

PERKS

• Hand-me-downs were never a thing for you.

You were the one to get the fresh-out-of-the-store clothes. They may not have been high-end, but at least they weren’t worn before. Your sibling(s) on the other hand; tough luck.

• They’re expected to follow your footsteps

As the Acca or Anna, achieving things that made your parents proud usually followed with a lecture for the young ones how they should be like you. Brought home a kick-ass report card and Amma would say “See, you should be like Acca.” Ah, good times.

• You’re their human superhero

Low-key, you love your sibling(s) to death. No matter how much you say you hate them; let’s be real, you’d still take a bullet for them. The need to protect them goes down as they grow older, but you know you’ll do anything to prevent them from getting hurt. They won’t admit they need you, but they do know you’ll be there through their times of need. Super cute eh?

• You get dibs on mostly everything

• Your siblings cherish your advice

You’re older, therefore, you’re wise in their eyes.

• Amma and Appa love you more

Self-explanatory.

DOWNFALLS

• They steal your clothes, it’s okay. You steal their clothes; “YOU GUYS HAVE YOUR OWN CLOTHES. WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING FOR EACH OTHERS’ CLOTHES?”
Wyd Amma?

• Mistakes aren’t an option

Being the oldest in a Tamil family isn’t easy. You’re reared to behave older and more mature to set examples for not only your sibling(s), but for younger cousins also.
Being the oldest = more responsibility = no space for mistakes

• They snake…

BIGGEST PYTHONS. Not all the time, but they do…

• They’re expected to follow your footsteps

Notice I put this point under perks too? The minute you slack off; whether in school or life in general, Amma pulls out the “YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO SET YOUR SISTER EXAMPLES TO FOLLOW!” card out. Of course, followed by words like kurungu, nai, etc. You get the picture.

• They got a phone when you got a phone…

This hits hard at home for me. Unless you independent human beings bought your phones yourselves, it’s usually Appa who bought you your first phone. After YEARS of begging, you had to wait a few extra years compared to them.

• Easier sailing for the younger ones

Ever had a hard time convincing your parents to let you go to formal, or semi, or even some party? “Who are you going with?” “Who’s coming?” “Why are you going?” Why, why, why. If you’re a girl, you often get asked “enna, aatam kaata poriya?” Anyways, once you’ve worked hard to get the yes, your younger sibling(s) don’t go through the same interrogation phase you did. Fam… like?

• Thinking of attending an out-of-city university? Oh hell to the no.

Waterloo? Western? Ottawa? Don’t bother thinking about it if you’re the oldest child. Amma’s excuse: “She’ll miss you.” Your parents prefer you commuting to and from home. With great force, some of us have gotten the approval (woohoo!). For the younger sibling(s), choosing to attend an out-of-city university is way easily granted. *eye-roll*

• Amma and Appa are still learning with you

Sometimes they’re a yes. Other times they’re a no. For their oldest child, they always want to make sure they’re doing the whole parenting thing right, so decision-making is usually awkward for us. Patience is major key, my friend.

Being the oldest clearly come with its perks and downfalls. No regrets in my life though. Just trying to make the best of being a good role model to the younger ones around me.

The post Life As an Older Child appeared first on TamilCulture.com.

I remember waking up as a young girl to the dramatic sounds of Tamil soap operas and their exaggerated slow motion scenes. It was definitely not the way to wake up a six year old girl. My entire body would cringe. Why are these serial characters always so sad? Why do Tamil women, especially the older folks, never stop watching them? It must be the beautiful sarees advertised adorned by the cast members in the serials.

I never understood until I grew older and hit middle school when I found myself falling for this vicious trap, even though my guilty conscience told me not to. There was something about them which made me never want to miss an episode. One in particular I recall was called Chithi. This serial reflected the life of a strong, independent woman in her thirties. It opened the world of Tamil serials to me. At a point, I became addicted to them and just couldn’t get enough.

The main character in the serial, Chithi, went through the many challenges of raising a stepdaughter and dealing with societal judgments for the decisions she made. Radhika Sarathkumar, who played Chithi, continues to be active in Tamil serials today. In a day and age in which most Tamil movies portray heroines as eye candy who rarely play meaty roles, Tamil serials such as these are the diamonds in the rough. They provide women in households with something to relate to. They hold women in a position that is equal to men by allowing them to take on deeper roles as seen in Radhika’s serials even to this day.

I use Radhika’s serials as a prime example because of the female empowerment that exudes in them. But I understand that not all serials are this way. With that said, even in Radhika’s serials there are parts which have a touch of patriarchy in them. These serials can be never-ending, overly emotional, and have very similar story lines. However, it is important to realize that this may be a reflection of society and the reason why the targeted audience, Tamil women, watch it as often as they do.

After attending university, due to my increasing workload I stopped attending all my classical dance, violin and Tamil heritage classes. I found my ability to speak my mother tongue had decreased immensely even though I speak Tamil with my parents daily. Similar to Tamil movies, watching these serials on a daily basis really added a touch of Tamil that would have otherwise been omitted. It required little commitment; by spending fifteen to thirty minutes of my day, I was finding a way to preserve my ability to speak Tamil fluently in addition to speaking with my family.

Moving past women’s empowerment and language preservation, some of these Tamil serials also provided me with a scope of religion. For example, watching serials such as Ramayana, Shivam and Mahabharatham, I get to understand where my parents come from when they tell me about ways to become a better Hindu.

The morals engraved in them and the way they deliver life lessons to their viewers are infectious. Moreover, it is serene to see the epic cinematography in these shows. One in particular, Mahabharatham, is a serial based on one of the longest epic poems of human history. To see these serials during my leisure time allows me to truly get in touch with my roots.

I am not telling you to watch Tamil serials starting tomorrow. But I am expressing the advantages of being open-minded to it or to understand when others watch them. It is not as horrific as it may seem. It can be empowering to see a character go through similar feelings and to watch how they cope and handle various situations. This is especially helpful for older Tamil women who may be looking for someone to relate to where otherwise they may not be able to in Tamil movies.

It also gives second generation Tamil-Canadians who are Hindu, such as myself, alternative ways to learn the customs and values of religion through these serials based on the great Hindu epics.

The post Tamil Serials and What You Didn’t Know About Them appeared first on TamilCulture.com.

Imagine waking up in the morning with no worries and with a great big smile. You roll out of your Queen size bed and put on your silk bathrobe. Your newspaper and coffee are nicely place by your bed stand. You walk over to your bathroom where all the latest gadgetry for grooming and perfume wait at your disposal. You step over to the shower and it feels like you are bathing in the rainy season in the Amazon.

After your shower, you “Usher slide” into your walk-in closet and see a nice catalogue of items to wear. You have your watches lined up from Rolex down to your Tissot collection. Your dress shirt is accompanied by an array of ties and shoes. Your unique cell phone has yet to be released to market, and your shades would make even Tom Cruise want to cop your style. As you step outside, you have a very Bond moment as you hop into your Aston Martin and roll off to start a splendid day.

Yes, what a dream indeed – until you hear a wailing scream from your mom to wake up and to take the trash out that you forgot to do last night. Your breakfast is Fruit Loops with soy milk and egg coffee that your mom forces you to drink for the hard work she put into making it. The guilt trip forces you drink it and leave you with the worst bad breath.

You go back to your shared bathroom with your siblings and it takes forever for them to finish because they are too busy talking about how Tiffany was a total BIATCH as they dry their hair with the irritable blow dryer. As you brush your teeth, thoughts start creeping in. “OMG, did I pay my cell phone bill?”, “Was there enough gas pumped so I can go to school?”, “Maya’s birthday party is on Saturday; fudge I’m broke” and the most epic one “I can’t wait until school finishes but I failed this one course and I have to retake it – fudgesicles”.

You walk outside with your Napoleon Dynamite vintage afro to start the car only to realize that it spits out a miserable cough and dies. You realize that the bus is coming within 3 minutes and you run like Usain Bolt as you catch up to the bus. You step inside with a sigh a relief and you realize that your wallet is in your other jeans. You are told to step outside and catch the next one. You are flustered with shame and people are giving you the walk of shame stare. You sit on the side of the sidewalk and contemplate “why ME!?

Typically, this is the infomercial part where I say “there is a revolutionary product that will fix your troubles with no added cost”. But sadly, there is none. I know we have all had those fleeting moments where we just want to be alone on our deserted island, just to be away from all the stress like bills, relationships, school and life itself. But keep in mind that life is ever changing and that this will only be temporary state.

As a young Tamil man, I have been through many experiences and defining moments. One thing I was always sure of is that I can be anything I want to be if I put my mind to it. A social Tamil norm governs us to become a model figure for others to look up to and lead by example. Our customs and traditions make us disciplined with impeccable mannerisms, and teach us to treat people with respect and hospitality. Our parents sacrificed their lives to come to this country and we will forever be indebted to their sacrifice.

This is no reason to become a nerd in the library and go to weekend tutorials to be extra nerd-like. Far from it – we should all enjoy life and do things our parents never had the luxury to do. Travel the world, take another language course, try that sushi restaurant from the corner block, join a club or go hiking with a group of friends.

The first generation wants us to be happy even though sometimes they show it in a funny way. We have all received that age old lecture that to be a doctor is the utmost pride for a family and it is equivalent to being a hero. We can all be heroes for showing people our passion for our interests and by giving the younger generation a light at the other end.

I know deep down you’re thinking this guy really just wants to score points to win the older generation’s approval. I couldn’t care less for what people may think of me, but I know when I see greatness in our people. At the end of the day, a parent will be content if you are happy and that their sacrifice was not in vain.

This generation is the one that will define future Tamil-Canadian generations, and slowly but surely, we are making our presence known across many facets and leaving a mark from our local convenience store to national politics.

The life you desire is based on sacrifice and timing. One should choose a career that makes them wake up in the morning with a smile, even if they don’t have an Aston Martin in their drive way. You may have won the challenge called happiness, and that’s all the wealth that you can ever desire.

The post Sharan’s Corner: Tamils Morphing Time appeared first on TamilCulture.com.

Mathangi “Maya” Arulpragasm, known by her stage name M.I.A., was interviewed by Richard Godwin of the Evening Standard in an article published on April 22 during which she was asked about Beyoncé’s Super Bowl 50 half-time performance. While not having seen the performance herself, she replied:

‘It’s interesting that in America the problem you’re allowed to talk about is Black Lives Matter. It’s not a new thing to me — it’s what Lauryn Hill was saying in the 1990s, or Public Enemy in the 1980s. Is Beyoncé or Kendrick Lamar going to say Muslim Lives Matter? Or Syrian Lives Matter? Or this kid in Pakistan matters? That’s a more interesting question. And you cannot ask it on a song that’s on Apple, you cannot ask it on an American TV programme, you cannot create that tag on Twitter, Michelle Obama is not going to hump you back.’

The question was posed following a discussion of M.I.A.’s own controversial performance at the sporting event four years ago when she brandished her middle finger. To M.I.A., the gesture was an attempt to upset the status quo. In the same vein, Beyoncé’s performance was a middle finger to police brutality and state complicity in the oppression of African Americans, following a year that saw the death of Freddie Gray, the Flint Water Crisis and clashes between police and protesters throughout the United States. And it was effective. The performance was dissected and discussed on news programs and social media more than the Denver Broncos victory.

Godwin points out that M.I.A. is the only South Asian musician at her level on the world stage. He observes that there is a sense of frustration in her words, revealing the stress of being a spokesperson against the oppression of religious and ethnic minorities. Maya was born in Hounslow, West London but at six months old relocated to Jaffna, Sri Lanka, the cultural capital of Tamil northern Sri Lanka. During the civil war that erupted there in 1983, Maya and her family were displaced and with her mother and brother, she eventually settled in London as a refugee. She has since become an outspoken advocate for the Tamil community and other refugees and displaced peoples.

BLM — Black Lives Matter protest in Baltimore, MD

The singer’s comments raised the ire of activists who said she invoked “Oppression Olympics” which in this instance pit the African American community against Muslim, Arab and South Asian communities and ignored the intersectionality between these groups. Nonetheless, there was an agreement that the issues discussed by Black Lives Matter are not new. Black Lives Matter is a protest movement that builds on the work of civil rights activists throughout the centuries of African American oppression in the United States. The political gains made by these movements have also been beneficial to other non-white Americans and for this reason, there is a segment of black activists that are weary of carrying the “oppressions of others” on their backs. Prominent Black Lives Matter advocate and Baltimore mayoral candidate, Deray Mckesson noted that protesters were not “allowed” to talk about Black Lives Matter but were “teargassed for standing up.”

While misinformed, M.I.A. brought attention to an ongoing discussion within the Asian American community about anti-black racism and the need for solidarity between black and brown people. It is important to note that the issue of racial division is not unique to the United States. Black and brown people in Canada, including Tamil Canadians have been victim to racial profiling, hate crimes and prejudice. On the other hand, like South Asians in the United States, South Asians in Canada also have the privilege of being deemed a “model minority”: a minority group that has achieved considerable socioeconomic success. The myth of the model minority glosses over the very real social and economic disparities within our community while also pitting South Asian Canadians against other racial minorities. Altogether, this prevents multiracial organizing against systemic oppression.

Activist Vidushani Jayalal & her mother Vinitha

When asked by Ruchika Tulshyan what changes within the South Asian community were needed to promote solidarity, Deepa Iyer, author of We Too Sing America: South Asian, Arab, Muslim and Sikh Immigrants Shape Our Multiracial Future, said that:

We need to talk about how the oppression of the Black Lives Matter movement is connected, although different, to some of the oppression South Asian communities face. In particular, you can look at the role of the state in police brutality, immigrant detentions and deportations, and surveillance of the Muslim communities. So the linkages are there for us to find, so we can connect our own histories and our oppressions to that movement as well. And see that we’re in it together.

Discussions around anti-black racism and building black and brown solidarity are being had in South Asian homes in the United States and increasingly in Canada. Below are resources for starting these discussions within your own home:

https://tospeakasong.com/2014/12/19/the-revolution-starts-with-my-thathi-strategies-for-south-asians-to-bring-blacklivesmatter-home/

https://queersouthasian.wordpress.com/2014/12/19/it-starts-at-home-confronting-anti-blackness-in-south-asian-communities/

http://www.seeding-change.org/asiansforblacklives/

http://blackdesisecrethistory.org/

Is the Black Lives Matter movement important to you, why or why not? Sound off in the comments.

The post Pull Up The People: Why Black Lives Should Matter to MIA and Tamil-Canadians appeared first on TamilCulture.com.

TIME Magazine has published its list of the 100 most influential people in the world in 2016. The list includes artists, leaders, pioneers, titans and icons. Among the 100 most influential people are three Tamils.

Aziz Ansari
TV’s new romantic

As people who shoot in New York, we know there’s no way to have an on-location show there that’s generic. It always ends up becoming specific. And on Netflix’s Master of None, you see New York through Aziz Ansari’s eyes. Each episode is its own little experience: the way Aziz talks about his ethnicity and career is so interesting, and the entertainment-industry world he writes about is hysterical and on point.

The Other Side

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