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Shiv Nadar: The Richest Tamil in the World

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According to Forbes’ 2017 Billionaires List, Tamil Nadu’s Shiv Nadar is the richest Tamil in the world.

Ranking at #102 out of 2,043 billionaires, the 71-year-old’s net worth is estimated at $12.8B. How did he get so wealthy?

Born in 1945, in Moolaipozhi Village (Tamil Nadu), he went on to receive a degree in Electrical and Electronics Engineering from PSG College of Technology, Coimbatore. After a short time at an engineering firm, he started his own tech venture, HCL, as a startup with his partners.

From Forbes:

“Indian IT pioneer Shiv Nadar cofounded HCL as a garage startup in 1976 to make microprocessors. Today, he chairs HCL Technologies, a $6.6 billion (revenues) company that is among the country’s top software services providers. Like its rivals, HCL has been on acquisition streak. Last year, HCL agreed to acquire Mumbai software firm Geometric, controlled by the billionaire Godrej family, in a share swap valued at $190 million. More recently, it bought Butler America Aerospace, a defence and aerospace services firm, for $85 million. His eponymous Nadar University is partnering with Dell for technology projects in areas such as cloud computing and big data.”

Shiv Nadar is married with a daughter, the current CEO of HCL (Roshni Nadar, pictured below), and lives in Delhi, India.

roshni

Shiv wasn’t the only Tamil to be featured in Forbes’ list this year. Malaysian Tamil entrepreneur, Ananda Krishnan, whom we previously featured as the richest Tamil in the world in 2014, also makes the list at #219. Read his story below.

Malaysian Tamil Billionaire Ananda Krishnan Makes Forbes’ Richest List Again

Sources: Wikipedia. Image: Livemint.com & Forbes.com.

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Tamil and Japanese Vocals Featured On Hari Dafusia’s Thediye Poren

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Thediye Poren is a song about a woman’s self discovery. The heart stirring vocals tell a story of journeying in search of ‘home’, while navigating through fragments of memory.

“I wished to express through the song, the way I was feeling when we sat down to pen the lyrics – getting rewired with my native roots while taking strides towards my goals. The lyrics took on a new meaning for me after Jyotsna rendered the song the way she did” reflected Hari Dafusia, the song’s composer.

Thediye Poren features an eclectic ensemble of musicians inspired by genres from around the world. From American country blues and Japanese scales, to Indian and Middle Eastern percussion fused with electronic sounds, to the Tamil lyrics, the song spans the globe and speaks to a universal yearning for meaning.

Music: Hari Dafusia
Vocals: Jyotsna Radhakrishnan (Malayalam playback singer)
Japanese Vocals: Tucciey
Lyrics: Muthamil
Keyboards, Rhythm, Arrangement and Programming: Hari Dafusia
Bass: Napier Naveen Kumar
Slide Guitar: Tom Samulak
Recording Venue: MassivArt Muzik (Toronto), Aura Studios (Chennai)
Mixing: Dafusia and Thukkaram
Mastered By: A. L. Thukkaram

The post Tamil and Japanese Vocals Featured On Hari Dafusia’s Thediye Poren appeared first on TamilCulture.com.

What Empowers TC’s First Published Tamil Author

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Tasha Nathan’s articles for TamilCulture were discovered by a publisher at Formac Publishing leading to her upcoming young adult fiction “Follow Your Heart”. She shares her inspiration for writing below.

I fell in love with words at a young age when I picked up my first book.  This picture book of the various bible stories was my absolute favourite.  As an only child and an introvert, reading was my escapism from the monotonous days filled only with school, home and tutoring.  I loved the power of words and how one story could fill a person with a myriad of emotions.  As I grew older, I strived to use this power to express my reality.

 

As a Tamil woman growing up in a patriarchal culture, there were so many things that I was told I couldn’t do ‘because I am a girl’. Writing was the catharsis to the limitations placed upon on me, purely because of my gender. It was no longer about escapism, but about the freedom to express myself to a world that seemed adamant to silence me. As my innate defiance of cultural norms grew, I seemed to derive more power from my writing.   

 

As a relative infant to the concept of writing, I started off with poetry.  I applied the techniques that I acquired in elementary school to help build the foundation to my new found venture. My shimmering, 99 cents yellow hard cover notebook, was the diary that I carried around with me to and from school. With pages upon pages of my work, it was my prized possession and I made sure that I always had it with me, even when I slept. I would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night to write, inspired by the dream that had stirred my slumber. Writing became my grounding stone and the only way I could speak the words that muted my lips. For what I couldn’t say, I could write and that became my saving grace from the cultural madness that I felt, as a Tamil girl, I was trapped in.

 

Writing gave me the strength to fight for what I wanted out of my life. The clarity of putting my emotions into words gave me the confidence to stand up for myself regardless of whom I was speaking to. I had spent most of my life listening to family members tell my parents that they hadn’t raised their daughter right, so I was no longer sensitive to their beliefs about me. I believed that my mentality was more common with first and second generation Tamils who grew up here, so for the most part, I would ignore them.

 

When I started writing for TamilCulture, I was in my own bubble, believing that Tamil men and women, who grew up in the west, were more in favour of evolving the culture to a greater level of gender equality. However, as I put out articles that were less conservative than the norm, I realized that patriarchy was still very much entrenched within my generation as well. The maliciousness of the comments didn’t reserve itself to the comments section of my articles.  Rather publishing articles under my name allowed a few men to find me on Facebook and send lewd and disgusting private messages. The messages and comments ranged from slut-shaming to threats of physical assault and rape.

 

I remember the first time I received this type of message, all I could do was stare at it in shock and as the shock slowly wore off, I started to shake with anxiety. Having been a victim of sexual assault, it was hard for me to brush off the experience. A few days later that anxiety turned into anger, and it was that anger that fuelled my need to write even more. That anger at further being forced to be silenced, to have my power stripped away, fueled my rage and gave me the spark I needed to continue writing.  They were using their ugly threats to try and take away my power as a woman and I was not going to take it. With a clear conscious, I could not allow myself to continuously be subjugated to the hypocrisies of our culture that allows women to be the bearer of all of our cultural sins.

 

The burden we place on women and girls to maintain the cultural status quo while giving free passes to men and boys simply because of their gender, is not acceptable to me. I had listened to that bias my whole life, and I had grown up witnessing my strong, beautiful, feminist mother, be broken down and wither away to the same oppressive standards that is continuously reinforced within our society.  It is heart-breaking for me to see this once rebellious, fierce woman, fall into the false belief that she isn’t good enough because she failed as a mother to raise a ‘proper’ daughter.  The people who tear her down ignore all the things she had accomplished throughout her life such as getting an education, supporting her family and having a career for herself, which was rare for a woman in 1965 rural Jaffna.

 

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I want to emulate who my mom once was, not who she is now. She is the reason my fight is still there, because I don’t want to end up like her. I don’t want any woman to end up like her, because it means that double standards won, that oppression won, that patriarchy won.  That all the cowards behind a computer screen that try to slut-shame and threaten me in the hopes that I will stop, won.  We, as a collective of women, have come way too far to allow the voices of a few men stop us from not only strengthening ourselves as a gender, but also strengthening our culture.

 

Tamils have been continuously oppressed, from politics to gender, throughout history. Our collective initiatives should be aimed to grow and evolve who we are as people, not be stuck where we were. We can’t scream freedom for Tamils while simultaneously oppressing Tamil women because it lines with our traditions and cultural beliefs. When the actions of those angered by progression, abuses that freedom, it is not only the writer who loses out, but the whole Tamil community as well.

 

Write local and go global with TC. Send your stories to hello@tamilculture.com

The post What Empowers TC’s First Published Tamil Author appeared first on TamilCulture.com.

Tamil Musicians M.I.A. and Tommy Genesis’ Mercedes-Benz Ad is Stylish and Powerful

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Canadian underground rapper, Tommy Genesis, who is part Tamil and part Swedish, and UK Tamil artist M.I.A have teamed up for a catchy ad for car maker Mercedes-Benz. We’re loving the result!

The post Tamil Musicians M.I.A. and Tommy Genesis’ Mercedes-Benz Ad is Stylish and Powerful appeared first on TamilCulture.com.

Australian Tamil Real Estate Mogul’s Advice for Success

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Maha Sinnathamby is a highly successful businessman and property developer who currently resides in Brisbane, Australia. Originally from Malaysia, of Sri Lankan Tamil descent, he spent his childhood on a British-owned rubber estate, where his father worked for the plantation. Maha moved to Australia to study civil engineering, and after working in the field in South East Asia, returned to reside in Australia.

He takes to his Facebook page occasionally to answer professional and personal questions from followers to help them achieve their goals. The following is a post he published in December 2016:

“There is a common thread in many of your messages, which is, what are my main tips for success. So after being in business for over half a century, here are a few personal insights, although, I, myself, am still very much learning:

  • Figure out what TRULY MAKES YOU HAPPY IN LIFE. I have had the honour of meeting some exceptionally successful businesspeople – millionaires and billionaires and some people who really are some of the most successful in their field. However, they are absolutely miserable. They are in loveless marriages, their children don’t talk to them, and they spend their Birthdays or special occasions such as Christmas by themselves. WHAT IS THE POINT OF SUCH AN EXISTENCE ? I have also seen some people who would have less than $100 in their bank account, and are constantly laughing and have amazing relationships with their loved ones. If there is one thing I ask of you, PLEASE FIND OUT WHAT YOU LOVE IN LIFE AND CHASE IT WITH ALL YOUR HEART. An abundance of money and status will never fill your soul with happiness if you don’t truly love what you do. Believe me, I have seen this over and over in my life.
  • If you have people in your life that you care about, TELL THEM! Do not assume they know. To this day, I grab my kids, even in the middle of the office, and give them a big hug. You can have ONE TRILLION DOLLARS or ONE DOLLAR in the Bank, but you can NEVER EVER buy a second chance to tell someone you love them.
  • Work really hard. I know many people look at me now, and must think it has come easy. It has not. It has come at a massive cost. Missing a lot of my children’s early years of growing up. Time away from my amazing wife. Going to the verge of bankruptcy three times. Constantly being ridiculed for having a vision (this still happens by the way). Despite this, I still turn up to work EVERY SINGLE DAY. Bottom line, you want something ? Work REALLY HARD.
  • I love how technology and social media is changing the world. It has really made amazing things happen. In saying this, it will never replace hard work. There are so many people with amazing ideas out there. However, DO NOT expect to just meet an “ANGEL INVESTOR” to come and make your dreams a reality. It really worries me that this is the business plan for so many people. They are expecting to go on the likes of SHARK TANK or meet a wealthy businessperson to do all the heavy lifting or be their Miracle Saviour. IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. Chances are, it did not happen for that businessperson, and that made them who they are today, so please do not expect it to happen to you.
  • NEVER FORGET WHERE YOU CAME FROM. I come from a beautiful part of the world, called Rantau, in Malaysia. It is a small village, and I could not be prouder of my origins. I love the people and the values it instilled in me. I try and go back there whenever I can.
  • TREAT MONEY WITH RESPECT – So many people are after more and more money, when what they should be doing is learning how to use the money they have in a wiser way. Easy for me to say ? Not really. I grew up in a house with dirt floors, studied under a kerosine lamp, worked four jobs while attending University, was a Door to Door Ruler Salesperson and have also worked as a Gravedigger when I was married with 3 kids after having graduated as a Civil Engineer from the University of New South Wales, and couldn’t get a job.

Friends, thank you again for your support, and have a truly MERRY CHRISTMAS and an amazing 2017.

STOP NOT TIL THE GOAL IS REACHED”

 

-Featured image is from Maha’s Facebook page.

The post Australian Tamil Real Estate Mogul’s Advice for Success appeared first on TamilCulture.com.

How Tamil Fathers Empower their Daughters

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect TamilCulture’s editorial policy.

I was the only son in my household. I loved the fact that I was the only son. I got to eat the best parts of the pizza while my sisters got the crust. I got the bone marrow of mutton curry while my sisters got the bland bits. Every day, I rode to school in a golden chariot while my dad beamed with pride, stroking his sphynx cat.

To the Tamil women reading this article while clutching their Mindy Kaling memoirs – you can breathe now. I was kidding. There was no chariot and no sphynx. And if my fictional account was true, TamilCulture’s editors would be giddy and jumping up and down as if it was “ther” from all the page views. Their inbox would be flooded with articles from young women with BAs bashing the Tamil patriarchal institution of my family unit.

Fortunately (or unfortunately), nothing like that happened. Now let me get to the crux of the story.

The criticism of Jodi Bridal Magazine’s recent cover incurred the wrath of many women and stirred fodder for multiple articles, even in mainstream outlets like Now Magazine. Model Thanushka Subramaniam has now officially replaced Tamil actress Rambha who was once known infamously for her legs.

My article is not about Thanushka or her legs or Rambha. It has to do with many young Tamil women and their dislike of “patriarchal” Tamil culture. Not surprisingly, it seems that their views of us Tamil men are not the most favourable. We are sexist, misogynistic, condescending, oppressive and rude.

This has always perplexed me. I’ve lived in multiple cities with large Tamil communities – Chennai, Singapore, Kuala Lumpur, Scarborough etc. In many cases, men were the sole breadwinners in their families.

From the factory workers and auto drivers of Chennai to the kitchen workers in Toronto to the white collar software engineers in Singapore, Tamil men were determined providers, taking horrible shift work and doing multiple jobs to provide for their children.

They wanted their daughters to go to medical school and pursue careers as doctors, so they worked weekend shifts in Scarborough, forgetting Christmas holidays. They wanted their daughters to get into law school and compete with men for careers as attorneys, so they put up with horrible bosses enduring abuse.

In some Tamil families, it was the father’s duty to save up enough to have his daughter married off to a good groom. It was his duty to make sure she had a good life. I could never affirm if there was love in their marriage, but there were definitely a lot of responsibilities. All in all, Tamil fathers were one – they were providers.

Once, I mockingly asked such a provider, my uncle, “I can never understand this marriage contract. You get married, you get a wife, you get food and sex and supposedly love. But you’re stuck with obligations for the next 30-40 years. If I were you, I’d be enjoying my freedom and companionship with random girls. No obligations. Love isn’t true.”

He retorted, “it’s our culture and our duty as men.”

I visited multiple Southeast Asian countries later that year – Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand and the Philippines. One thing that struck me was that there were far more single mothers abandoned by fathers in these countries than in India or Sri Lanka.

My experience working in Toronto with vulnerable populations in underprivileged neighbourhoods also revealed similar insights. Dysfunctional families in poorer black and white communities often had fathers walking out on their wife and kids, leaving mothers at the mercy of the social welfare system.

I am not the greatest fan of Tamil culture by any means. But when it comes to obliging men a social responsibility for raising families, the culture is fine. Nearly every Tamil child grows up with the social and economic benefits of a two parent household. A man who abandons his wife and children is disgraced and mocked as “odukali”. He may not be the happiest man in the world, but he keeps an intact nuclear family unit that serves as the bedrock for the greater good of society.

My father wasn’t the happiest man. He was rather old school, brusque, and would probably be considered chauvinistic by modern day feminist standards. But he did provide by any means for my mom, my sisters and me throughout our childhood and early adulthood.

As I get older, I somehow relate to Tamil men like my father who were the sole breadwinners. The amount of stress they underwent, the responsibilities and reputation they had to carry to keep the family intact.

It’s a duty I wouldn’t want to be burdened with. In 28 years, I do not want to be labeled as an oppressive chauvinistic pig by the “oppressed” daughter still living at home bashing Tamil culture while pursuing her Masters in Gender Studies. Yes – the “Westernized” daughter whom I will still be supporting at 28 while her white friends’ dads kicked them out at 18!

Long story short, maybe some Tamil men are misogynists. Tamil women, I apologize on behalf of all the hardworking, loyal, faithful, committed provider fathers, uncles and Tamil men out there who allegedly happen to be misogynistic and oppressive. I have a vetti and some nice legs. Can I get a photo cover shoot too?

Related articles:
It’s Time to Start Appreciating our Tamil Parents
Why Tamil Parents Need to be Better Parents
When Did My Parents Get So Cool?

The post How Tamil Fathers Empower their Daughters appeared first on TamilCulture.com.

Budapest: Travelling with Social Anxiety

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If you’ve met me, odds are that you would say that I’m a social person, but did you know that I have social anxiety?

To most people, going away on holidays with friends is exciting and it really was for me, until a few days before I was set to go to Budapest. The truth is when we had to check in – PANIC! I really wanted to cancel my tickets, stay at home and paint. For me it was not the thought of going to a different country (I love travelling) or even flying. It was s2017-02-03 12_optpending time with people that was overwhelming. It wasn’t that I was spending time with people I didn’t like or even strangers. I was going with people I have known for years and my friends, who up until that moment, I was excited to see.

I have often had these moments. It is the reason why I sometimes cancel plans or make excuses to leave early. I am yet to fully understand why it comes, but when it does, the single thought that runs through my head is, ‘I can’t do it.’ Most days I am completely fine, but there are days that I cannot be around people (anyone)/ am unable to hold or start conversations (with anyone).

During my panic about Budapest, a friend of mine reminded me of my resolution to open myself up to new experiences. So instead of cancelling my tickets, I got on a plane. Looking back now, I’m really glad that for the first time I didn’t cave and cancel – I really fell in love with the city and want to spend more time there. Lots of architecture, thermal baths, themed cafes and it’s not a busy city.

I did have a lot of anxiety on the first day. It was hard, but I still explored the city and I appreciated the beauty of it. It’s difficult to talk to people when my anxiety is so high but I am proud that I didn’t run away from conversation, or from meeting new people.


ParliamentView walking up the castle.

Day 2 was a lot easier. My anxiety went down so I was able to relax and I enjoy my company and absolutely loved my time at the thermal baths. The strange thing I have always found about my anxiety is that it isn’t constant.

Social anxiety is incredibly overlooked, which is why I decided to write about it. I have only ever met one other person who has it, but I imagine that other people do experience it, it’s just scary to admit it (I was really hesitant to post this). So, to anyone who experiences it, you are not the only one who has these moments. I know how hard it is, but from someone who has been working on managing their anxiety: don’t let it stop you from meeting new people or having new experiences.

For those who want to see some more awesome places in Budapest:


Fisherman’s Bastion – view from the city is amazing at sunset
St.Steven’s Basilica – go up to the top and see the view. Students take your card you get a discount. Free to go in, money to go up. Szechenyi Bath – thermal baths. Advice: you want two towels. One that you take around with you and one that you use after to shower. Don’t take your phone with you unless it’s waterproof. Take flip-flops.

 

Other things: walk around it’s all pretty close together and there are loads of really cool cafes so stay away from the Costa/ Starbucks that you can get anywhere. Everyone there seems to know English, but they love it when you speak some Hungarian even if what you say doesn’t fully make sense.

xo

Follow Shiyaa’s posts at A Cup of Shi.

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Drawn From Memory: An Interview with Tamil Visual Artist Karuna Vincent

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A conversation with Karuna Vincent inevitably turns to other artists; it’s almost impossible to keep him talking about himself. He would rather talk about art. “What has survived prehistoric humans? Not their music, or dance, but their art.” He is most struck by Caravaggio and Rembrandt, their use of light and shadow, and speaks lovingly of the light that seems to pour out of a small window in Abraham and Isaac, and in Nightwatch; how it illuminates life in the midst of darkness. “You can choose the subject, or its themes, but in the end, it is the light that directs the painting.” After our conversation, I pore over images of these paintings, my eye tracing the light.  

 

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I ask Karuna if he had always been intrigued by art. “My mother was interested in art,” he explains, “and all the women in my family drew very well. Art was very much a part of our household, but I was born in Karaveddy (near Point Pedro), and there were going to be limits to what I could do with my art there.” His fascination with art grew into a fondness for comic books, and in the Sixth Grade at Hartley College, Karuna and some of his friends released six hand-drawn issues of comic books, drawn in unruled blank-page books, which circulated the entire school. His parents encouraged his interest until a childhood bout with Eosinophilia kept him from school. As Karuna became more fixed on drawing, unable to focus on reading, his parents took his materials away from him, afraid that he would never show interest in his studies again.

 

In 1989, Karuna became a student of the renowned Jaffna artist A. Mark, himself a former student of George Keyt’s. Raised in a Catholic family, Karuna’s earliest exposure to art was through religious iconography, but Mark introduced him to many of the artists who would influence his work: French Surrealist Andre Breton, the stylized paintings and freehand techniques of Jamini Roy, George Keyt and the abstract explorations of Trotsky Maruthu. Mark urged him to go out and draw people from real life, rather than from the idealized figures in popular culture magazines of the time. “It’s a shadeist, idealized form that had been normalized from Ravi Varma on,” Karuna says. “The images were almost pink in color, no brown skin or dark skin, and the forms of men and women conformed to a model, rather than reality. Mark drove us to mirror society rather than chase some dream image.” Here, the art of Maruthu, Amrita Sher-Gil, Adimoolam and others were a source of inspiration, focusing as they did on more realistic depictions of South Asian bodies in all their physical variations and rich skin tones.

 

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Fleeing the conflict in Sri Lanka, Karuna arrived in Canada as a refugee in 1991. I ask him how that change affected his art. “I lived in a small apartment with a family, and could no longer work with oils. I had no access to studio space, and the alcohol-based medium for diluting oil paints has a strong, toxic smell, so I couldn’t use it anymore; I moved to pastels.” Like many refugees, he measures his misfortune against that of the ones left behind. “I eventually gained access to digital materials, after doing a Desktop Publishing Course at George Brown. I had more opportunities to pursue my art than others did back home.” He speaks animatedly about the mixed media techniques that a Wacom tablet allows, and how time and stylus pressure shape his digital work. Two years after his arrival in Canada he and the artist Jeevan were invited to hold a joint exhibition at the Tamil Resource Centre (Thedakam), for an event marking the 10th anniversary of the July riots in Colombo. He exhibited twenty oil paintings, and sold none of them.

 

Karuna is known as an illustrator of book covers, website designer, photographer and artist, but he doesn’t often sell his paintings.

 

“You rarely find a work of art by a Tamil artist in someone’s house. Art doesn’t have the same recognition as music or dance – even among the cultured, you will have hundreds of books of poetry and essays, but rarely books on visual art or even writing on visual arts.”

 

Some of this attitude he attributes to a Eurocentric education that does not recognize or understand art from other cultures, some of it to a cultural block on visual art as a field. “People will spend thousands of dollars sending their child to music or dance classes, and to have an Arangetram, even if that child never pursues dance beyond that point. Visual art doesn’t seem to hold the same value, even though the skills of observation, internalizing a subject and externalizing it onto a canvas open out a world of possibilities. Those skills could take you into theatre, architecture, video game design, graphic design, landscaping, interiors… the possibilities are numerous! Yet, parents tell their kids ‘What are you going to do with art?’ Denying children art closes off so many options to them.”

 

Karuna’s series of bicycle sketches, alongside more abstract paintings, created quite a stir at a much overdue exhibit recognizing his work at the Tamil Heritage events this past January. I walked into the exhibit to find people pointing to different sketches and speaking about them as if they were family photographs. I listen to the responses:

 

“This one hurts to look at.”

“This is why we had to leave…”

“I used to take love letters to my wife just like this.”

“People could go three or four on a bike…”

I ask him why bicycle sketches? What inspired this?

 

“I wanted to experiment with these sketches, I hadn’t seen anything like it done before. The lane I grew up on was quite close to a junction, and many people on bicycles met there. It’s a vanishing lifestyle. Back then, to take a girl ‘double’ on your bike was the most intimate you could get. Even when you talked to a girl you had to keep some distance. And that culture of writing and delivering love letters, the excitement, these are lost now.” Yet, it’s a culture that has some resonance across age and place. A Cuban friend tells me the bicycle sketches remind him of home. A woman from a West African village he has never heard of tells Karuna the sketches took her back to her childhood. An elderly Tamil gentleman calls him out of the blue to thank him for depicting these memories.

 

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As I gaze at the sketches, I overhear a man tell of how one brings back memories of taking a girl ‘double’ on his bike. I smile at him, and he includes me, “That was serious stuff. You had to be ready to marry a girl if she rode double on your bike.”

 

“And did you marry the girl you took on your bike?” I ask him. His friend burst into laughter, “Oh, she really put you on the spot with that question!”

The man laughed too, only slightly indignant, “I have only taken one woman on my bike, and that was after I married her!” The laughter sparkles in the room, and lingers with me as I walk away.

 

I realize that these works unlock something profound for our community. Many who came here as refugees don’t have photographs to document their stories, and so many memories remain unspoken. They are compelled to speak about war, but that’s not all their lives were about. In Karuna’s art, their memories find a voice, and it lifts them out of their everyday. They remember their loves, their struggles, their thrills, their pain, and the communities they were once part of. In remembering, they relive them. And, however briefly, they are home again.

Images: Provided by Karuna Vincent. 

 

Coming Soon! TC MRKT will connect Tamil sellers with buyers thorough storytelling. Stay in the loop by registering here.

The post Drawn From Memory: An Interview with Tamil Visual Artist Karuna Vincent appeared first on TamilCulture.com.


Tamil Community Story on Publicly Funded Media Outlet Irks some Canadians

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The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC), a publicly funded, national media outlet, recently featured the ongoing debate surrounding the cover of Jodi Bridal magazine, which TC initially featured here.

 

Given that Canada, and specifically Toronto, is home to over 200,000 Tamil Canadians, it would seem logical/inclusive to occasionally feature stories and issues which are relevant to the community. Sadly, quite a few comments under the CBC article from fellow Canadians indicate otherwise, showing there’s work to be done with regards to promoting diversity and inclusion in all of our communities.

 

Some of the comments, from those who feel that the story doesn’t belong on the website:

 

Questions of how taxpayer dollars are spent.

CBC

That the story does not belong on a Canadian funded website.

 

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The question of “Canadian Culture.”

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Share your thoughts on this by sharing your perspective within the comments or by submitting an article.

The post Tamil Community Story on Publicly Funded Media Outlet Irks some Canadians appeared first on TamilCulture.com.

The Intoxicating Rani Bride

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Your gaze stays transfixed, mesmerized by the smoothness of her skin. The beauty of it, of her, causes you to swallow the hard lump in your throat.  You wonder how a simple body part can elicit such strong emotions within you. With thoughts racing, your eyes travel upwards, following the flow of light as it reaches past the calf to her thighs. Your hands clench as the exposed skin suddenly creates an urge within you to reach out and trace the long shapely legs with the tip of your fingers. She was, no scratch that, is beautiful.

She is like a queen on her bridal throne as she sits there, her body screaming with confidence. As the strength of her gaze meets yours, you feel yourself drowning in her eyes. She is every inch a woman and you just can’t take it anymore. Your eyes glint with contempt and maybe even a bit of… envy? You didn’t want her to be like this. The more you stare at her, the more your contempt turns to indignation.  Who does she think she is? It doesn’t matter that historically, our women have been depicted as curvaceous figures with pointed nipples and generously exposed waists, which are depicted in the temple carvings. Or, that our women were indeed topless before the British decided to push their sense of propriety upon us.  Now this new queen emerges, choosing to show a portion of her leg instead. It is unheard of! How dare she, you think to yourself, as you bite back the self righteous anger that licks the insides of your stomach. 

 

The anger continues to simmer within you as you obsess with your belief that she isn’t respecting our culture—your culture. Her exposed leg ridicules your long held traditions and beliefs, and as much as you revel in her magnificence, you can not allow yourself to lose sight of the mockery she is creating.  You think that she needs to be put in her place.  And so you place your fingers on the keyboard and fervently type your outrage in the comment section below.

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The concern, or should I say obsession, that the masses seem to have with women is nothing new. It has touched all cultures along every continent, passing through many countries. The regulation of woman’s attire and attitude have been the staple argument for the preservation of many cultural practices. The idea of woman and culture have gone hand in hand for many centuries with the collective belief that cultural representation is upheld seemingly through their women.

 

In the case of the Jodi Bridal magazine, the mere exposure of a woman’s leg (singular) has brought forth such a strong divisive argument between what is considered cultural, and what isn’t. However, those who vehemently oppose this ‘bold’ style, fail to realize that Tamil women’s fashion, which has somehow become synonymous with Tamil culture, has changed through-out the centuries. In 300BC, during the Mauryan and Sunga period, men and women’s attire consisted mostly of a rectangular piece of fabric covering the bottom and top.  Prior to, and even during the colonialism period, many South Indian women rarely chose to wear anything on top, opting for minimal clothing to suit the humid, hot temperatures.

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The female form was worshiped and admired as a thing of beauty. It was only during the British rule that the idea of decency became associated with covering of one’s body. Blouses were introduced and overtime became viewed as traditional South Asian wear.  So yes, darling traditionalists, women back then rocked more than a little leg.  If you want to keep with tradition, then let our woman bare their bodies in all their glory because that is what our predecessors did.   The idea of decency has changed over time as well its association with the word ‘culture’.

 

You cannot successfuly integrate in current society with the  expectations of what our people held fifty years ago. Preservation of culture as many of our people have tried to do, is a naïve belief.  Our fixation with maintaining our cultural identity, stems from the sense of nostalgia of what we left behind. When Tamils migrated to the safety net of North America and other parts of the world, they developed a deep sense of fear of losing their culture. It was for that reason they banded together, creating a strong community and successfully introducing the cultural practices they were forced to leave behind.  From Carnatic music, to bharathanatyam, to samathavedu, they did everything in their power to maintain their cultural identity. However as new generations of North American Tamils continue to emerge, the idea of cultural purity is breaking down.

 

Unless we choose to live in complete exclusion, isolated from any outside influences, we are not unaffected by the consistency of change.  With the rise of technology and the ability to connect globally, education and access to information have helped many individuals reach new heights, and this includes Tamil women. When you bear witness to the protests of Tamil people who are somehow offended when their culture is challenged, it often revolves around the Tamil woman.

 

With the  outcry of offensive comments for the recent Jodi bridal cover, a part of me was left completely dumbfounded by the sheer lunacy of those who felt the need to express the apparently clear violation of our ‘morally upright’ Tamil culture. The cries of ‘saving our culture’ and ‘not a Tamil bride’ left me shaking my head in confusion at the lack of priorities when it comes to what our culture should and should not represent.  I was left wondering, where is this passionate response when our women are raped or beaten, when our children are being molested and solicited for sex by Tamil men?  Is that an acceptable part of our culture that require minimal protests from the Tamil community?

 

Instead we choose to fixate on her. The woman who dared to expose her leg for the cover of a magazine shoot, only to procure the verbal wrath of many.

 

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Strangers Under One Roof: A Story of a Tamil Father and Son

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It’s my father’s 70th birthday this week and this has made me reminisce and reflect on my relationship with a man who for a long time has been a stranger that I have shared a home with.

 

My memories of my father during my teenage years are of a man that ruled my life like a general in the army. A man who insisted that every evening I study for three hours. A man who made me tremble with fear when he walked the front door. A man who was never wrong.

 

One strange day, in my twenties, something unexpected happened – I looked at my father and saw a man with flaws. A man who made mistakes like me. A man who has had to compromise his dreams so he can provide for his family.  This was a defining moment in our relationship; seeing the flaws in a man who for so long I viewed as a faultless being. A man, whose high expectations of me fuelled my insecurities, resulting in a strained relationship that has caused us both pain over the years. This was the moment that I decided to lay the foundations to build a bridge between two men who had let the streams of misunderstandings grow into a sea of resentment that had pushed them apart.

 

A father and son dynamic have common threads through the cultural spectrum. There are cases of fathers trying to shape their sons to be a more successful reflection of themselves. There are fathers who resent the presence of another man who monopolises the affection of the woman whose love was once solely theirs. There are fathers who embrace the gift of raising their child, leading them through life with the hand of friendship. There are also fathers who run away from the responsibility of raising another being as they themselves have yet to grow into the men they had once hoped to be. Somewhere in this spectrum is the Tamil father, who is faced with a challenge of raising his son in the cultural surroundings that are alien to him. A Tamil father whose relationship with his son is defined by his own strict upbringing – an upbringing that taught him that tough love is the only way to guide your son through the minefield of vices that threaten to derail his journey to manhood. While guiding his son through this journey, a Tamil father battles everyday to safeguard the perception of his son in the eyes of the Tamil community; a community that sometimes revels in the misfortune of others.

 

Somewhere along this journey, the son begins to pull his hand away from the tight grip of his father – he wants to run across the field of life on his own. He wants to fall, get up and fall again, knowing that his father is always there with his outstretched arms. But, hurt by his son’s desire to run on his own, the Tamil father folds his arms – thinking that he has lost his son forever. It is at this moment that they begin to drift apart.

 

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A number of my friends have lost one or both of their parents in the last few years.  I remember the unimaginable grief and their tear-drenched words at the funeral – the overwhelming regret of not making the most of their time together.  I didn’t want that to be me. Many people say ‘life is too short’ and we should make the most of it.  What I am more fearful of is an empty life; a life full of voids that I could have filled by saying the right words to the right people at the right time. 

 

I am happy to say that I laid the foundations and built the bridge to cross the sea between my father and me. To my surprise, he decided to meet me half way.

 

Image source: dfw.com

 

Related stories you might like:

Words I Want To Say To My Tamil Father

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Jyothi, The 16 Year Old Singing Sensation With Vision Loss

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Just over a month ago Jyothi Kalaiselvi graced the stage at World Vision India’s Ability Fest, singing D. Imman’s Kannamma.

The event, which celebrates the talents of children who have disabilities, took place at St. Bede’s Secondary School, in Chennai. But the video of Jyothi’s performance would go viral, inspiring viewers around the world and even catching the attention of award winning composer, G.V. Prakash.

Posted on February 26th by WVI, to date it’s garnered 1.2 million views. And Jyothi, and her Amma, Kalaiselvi, continue to be invited to share their incredible journey, and Jyothi’s gifts which include playing the violin and piano and teaching music.

At 16 years of age Jyothi’s abilities and talents are undeniable, and she’s had to overcome much more than the average artist to get the recognition she has earned today.

The challenges came early and they came often. After a difficult delivery for her mother Jyothi, just a day old, faced surgery and one month in neonatal care before she could go home. She had vision loss, a developmental delay and would soon be living in a single parent household.

Kalaiselvi reflected that all too often when a child is born with complications and disabilities, one parent withdraws and leaves the other to navigate unchartered territory alone. It was one of the very few moments she let on even a hint of sadness.

Constantly energetic and exuding love from every pore, Kalaiselvi views her life in matter of fact terms. There simply isn’t time to think about her own needs or emotions. Aware of the countless obstacles facing those with disabilities, and spurred on that much more to give her daughter every opportunity she can, she said: “Jyothi has her own vision, her own emotions and it’s important I respect them and empower her.” With the support of her parents, she has done exactly that.

Today apart from her schooling, Jyothi’s engaged in a variety of activities on a daily basis to ensure that she stays healthy and inspired. Her mother believes that no matter how little or how much you have, without mobility, your quality of life will be completely sacrificed. From walking and swimming, to reading braille Kalaiselvi ensures that there’s never a dull moment for her daughter.

It took a while to get this set of activities figured out, and there was much trial and error along the way.

When Jyothi was a young child, her mother recognized how much sound stimulated her. Unable to see, she would become enamoured by the sounds she heard around her. This was years before they were able to turn to learning music as a viable path.

Initially, occupational therapy and establishing day to day routines were the main priorities, especially once Jyothi starting exhibiting autistic behavior.

By the age of 6 she had started studying at a school for children with disabilities. But the curriculum and its emphasis on conventional subjects was not a good fit for Jyothi. She was struggling and Kalaiselvi wasn’t about to let her daughter feel helpless in a system that just didn’t have the ability to meet her needs.

At age 9, they explored a school which was intended for students with vision or hearing loss. Rather than academics, there they emphasized basic life skills. It was at this school that an invaluable teacher ensured that Jyothi learned to read braille, which she continues to use with ease today.

Soon after this, her foray into music began. Keyboards at 10, vocal training at 11, and her love for music grew. When it came to music Jyothi was in her element, learning independently.

Kalaiselvi, who is actively involved in her church’s ministry to those with vision loss, helped a young boy gain entry into the Tamil Nadu Music and Fine Arts University around this time.

Seeing the success of a young person with vision loss, gave her assurance that more doors were waiting to open for Jyothi. And in July of 2014, at 13 years old she was accepted into the TN Music and Fine Arts University as well.

14 hour days became the norm, including school, practice and activities which helped immerse Jyothi in music and remain one of the best students in her class. Very little time was left for imagining stages, let alone appearing on them. Up to that point the only performances Jyothi regularly took part in were at her church on Sundays, where she played the keyboard.

That is until about a year and a half ago, when Jyothi and Kalaiselvi connected with Lit the Light, an organization which empowers those with vision loss through education and access to vital resources. The not-for-profit provided them with introductions and opportunities to help share Jyothi’s talents.

Fast forward to the preparations for Ability Fest 2017, and one of Lit the Light’s members requested an opportunity for Jyothi to be on stage. The event was livestreamed by Chennai Memes, and seen by a worldwide audience.

Somewhere in the sea of viewers was director, Shanmugam Muthusamy and the star and music composer of his upcoming film, Adangathey, G.V. Prakash. They were so blown away, G.V. extended an invitation to Jyothi to sing for the film. Weeks later Kailaiselvi is still incredibly moved as she describes the kindness and respect her daughter was given throughout the recording.


She is also in awe of the ways in which social media is connecting them to worlds that were unknown previously. Film for instance, was simply something they weren’t keeping up with. When survival is your day to day priority, and discrimination against those with disabilities is far too common, it’s not hard to see how that can be.

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As she shared stories of her life and Jyothi’s, Kalaiselvi continued to impress upon the difficulty of living with a disability when there are such widespread views that this is a burden to society; that this perception is even more difficult to shake in rural areas, where access to resources and education are more limited.

She hopes that everything she strives for, for Jyothi will serve as a testament to others to inspire and encourage them to keep persisting in the pursuit of a meaningful live.

Not one to take anything for granted, Kalaiselvi simultaneously encourages Jyothi to do her best and sets her sights on redefining the possibilities available to her every day. Whether that means continuing to study, to earn her MA, or teaching music to students from around the world, or performing and encouraging other aspiring artists, she’s sure of one thing – there is much work to be done.

And she and Jyothi have only just gotten started.

 

 

The post Jyothi, The 16 Year Old Singing Sensation With Vision Loss appeared first on TamilCulture.com.

The Struggles of Dating: Why Trying to Maintain a “Good Tamil Daughter” Image is Impossible

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Do you ever feel like you’re in a constant battle between trying to please your parents and putting your needs first? Have you ever lied to your parents when going on dates, because it was a lot easier than actually telling them the truth? Well ladies, you’re not alone. The struggle is REAL when you’re a Tamil girl who still lives under your parents’ roof. Here are some of my own experiences with this.

 

Note: This article is not intended to bash my parents in any way, but rather to express my internal conflicts surrounding dating and maintaining a “good daughter” image.

 

Growing up, I didn’t really know how to interact with boys. I never equipped myself with the social skills to make meaningful connections with the opposite sex. Our parents, who grew up back home, were accustomed to a world where public image was important. For my mom, hanging out with boys for fun was unheard of, and the idea of befriending people from other castes, supposedly inferior to your own, was looked down upon in Tamil society. While I can understand why most Tamil parents can be strict with their kids, as this type of mentality is ingrained in them from a young age, the reality is, this does not translate to the norms and culture of our new found communities.

 

Because my childhood mainly consisted of extra-curricular activities, my main focus was to do well in school, and uphold to the standard of being a “golden child” in my parents’ eyes. Whether it was singing, swimming, speech competitions, enrichment programs, attending spiritual education classes… you name it, I did it, and I was well known for it within parts of the Tamil community. I was traditional in the sense that I wanted to be portrayed as a “good daughter,” which meant that I obeyed the rules at home, got good grades and attended religious gatherings every Sunday. To this day, my biggest fear is letting my parents down.

 

As I finally started to date, there were many internal struggles I dealt with. I resorted to meeting people online, not only because I was shy, but because it was my only avenue to get to know a boy without my parents finding out. The biggest dilemma that I had with meeting people online was actually finding an excuse to get out of the house to go on these dates. For me, lying doesn’t come easy. My facial expression would just give it away, not to mention the hassle of finding a wardrobe to wear that wouldn’t blow my cover. I had to make it seem believable that I was meeting with one of my girlfriends. In fact, I would try to plan my excuse to the finest details. Who I was going with, where I was meeting my “friend”, the storyline of the “movie” I watched, “studying at the library”…the list goes on. Not only was it difficult for me to come up with these lies, it was also hard for me to remain present in the relationship.

 

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I would constantly check my phone, be paranoid of getting home on time, and worry about maintaining my image. This was also difficult for the person I was dating. Having to reschedule dates because of my situation or cutting the date short to prevent getting caught by my parents were just some of the many struggles I faced because of lying.

 

As I got older, completed my undergraduate degree and found a field-related job, I decided to start being more open about my love life with my parents…because at least at this point I had nothing to lose. To my surprise, it wasn’t so bad coming clean. I just had to tell my parents where I was going, what time I was coming home and to pick up their phone calls. Little did I know how annoying Mothers could be when they find out about the man in their daughter’s life! Once the truth came out, the questions came flooding about where my relationship was heading, whether he called, when I was going to see him next, what he does for living, etc. The pressure to have a label on our relationship and to decide where things were headed, especially so early on in the dating game would end up making me feel very anxious.

 

If there’s anything I’ve learned from my experiences, I can tell you that it is nearly IMPOSSIBLE to please your parents while satisfying your own needs simultaneously. Putting family first poses as an obstacle when it comes to dating, so you must be able to find common ground with your parents and the person you’re dating. However, if you would like to live the life you want guilt-free, you must learn to assert yourself with confidence of the decisions you make and accept the consequences that come with it. Perhaps moving out would be a solution, at least that way your parents won’t be all up in your business. I know it takes a lot of courage to do this, especially if you care a lot about getting your parent’s approval or if you’ve lived your whole life trying to please others.

 

My advice to those who are in relationships already and are afraid of coming clean, remember this; the most important thing to your parents is your happiness. I can’t say that all parents will eventually come around, but I can say that having a positive outlook can help you in many aspects of your life. So don’t lose faith, stay true to yourself and follow your heart.

 

Single and looking? Join the countless others who have found love and marriage through myTamilDate.com.

 

Related stories you might like:

5 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Get Married Just Because Time is Running Out

Good Girl, Bad Girl: The Tamil Dichotomy

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Participants Needed For Research In Tamil Food Studies

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A study about food consumption, food provisioning and the status of meat among Tamil, and other South Asian communities, in Toronto and the GTA, is taking place at the University of Toronto Scarborough.

This research is part of the project “Tasting the Global City: Multicultural Histories of Toronto’s Cuisines”, directed by Professor Jeffrey Pilcher.

Tamil participants are currently being recruited to share their insights. As a participant in the study, you would be asked to take part in a face-to-face interview or in a focus group, lasting from a minimum of 10 minutes to a maximum of 60. The interviews would take place at UofT Scarborough (1265 Military Trail) or elsewhere in the GTA.

To volunteer for this study, which has been reviewed and approved by the University of Toronto’s Research Ethics Board, or for more information, please contact Michaël Bruckert at 647-571-5538 or michael.bruckert@gmail.com.

Michaël is a post-doctoral fellow at the Culinaria Research Centre at UofT Scarborough, in the Department of Historical and Cultural Studies.

Culinaria is an initiative bringing together students and faculty in partnerships with community organizations and other institutions. The Culinaria Research Centre is interested in the cross-disciplinary engagement with the meaning, practice, and ongoing evolution of global cuisine.

The post Participants Needed For Research In Tamil Food Studies appeared first on TamilCulture.com.

World Premiere of Anusree Roy’s Little Pretty And The Exceptional

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Simran is gifted, complex and haunted. Jasmeet, her younger sister, is the typical hip Toronto teenager. Together with Dilpreet, their delightfully overprotective and traditional father, they are frantically trying to get ready for the opening of their new sari shop on Gerrard Street. To achieve their life-long dreams, the family must come together to find new strength and exorcise the demons of their past. Charming, tragic, and full of life, this is a deeply moving story about the taboo around mental health issues in the South Asian community, and the power of familial ties in the face of adversity.

Toronto’s Factory Theatre is presenting the world premiere of Little Pretty and The Exceptional, written by Anusree Roy and directed by Brendan Healy, throughout the month of April. Opening night will take place on Thursday, April 6th.

Though both Roy and Healy are award winning artists, the excitement about a play which has them both at the helm comes from their mutual ability to fascinate and confront audiences.

The play stars Shelly Antony (Perceptions of Love in the Pursuit of Happiness/Toronto Fringe, Scarberia/YPT) as Iyar, Shruti Kothari (Hamlet, Love’s Labour’s Lost/Stratford Festival, James and the Giant Peach/YPT) as Jasmeet, Farah Merani (Trompe-LaMort, or Goriot in the 21st Century/Summerworks, The Dinner/Toronto Fringe) as Simran and Sugith Varughese (Indian Ink/CanStage, Bhopal/Cahoots) as Dilpreet.

Asked to share what excites them about being a part of the production, the cast had much to say!

Shelly Antony: First of all it is a brilliant play and working with Anusree has been a goal of mine. I am very excited that it’s finally happened. Secondly doing a play about a South Asian family in Toronto living on Gerrard Street was fascinating to me because of the proximity to the stories of many people I know.

Also the character I play is of Tamil descent and for me it’s the first time on stage that I have shared the same ethnicity with a character. In many ways it’s sort of a homecoming for me. This play also celebrates the working class identity of most South Asian immigrant families and through the play I’m able to say THANK YOU to my parents and celebrate their hard work, sacrifices and commitment to my brothers and me.

Farah Merani: The simple answer is that Anusree has written a truly beautiful piece. The detailed answer is more layered. I’ll start with Simran, the character I play. She’s so wonderfully complex in the scope of her experiences and her journey through the play is fascinating to witness. She toes the line between two worlds with such care that the heart of her story resonates with a profound truth.

It’s rare to be given such a gift as an actor, a bonafide ‘dream role’! Also, the play deals with some very topical issues facing many communities, even though it’s been written specifically about a South Asian family. I’d never worked with Brendan before so I was pumped to seize the opportunity and being a part of Factory’s Canada 150 season was an honour in and of itself.”

Sugith Varughese: Anusree has written an astonishing play and a gigantic character in Dilpreet. He is my father and all the immigrant fathers who came here for a better life and fought private battles just to belong and find a place for their families. I was compelled to play him and I just hope I do him justice.

Shruti Kothari: Getting cast. (Kidding)

This is a beautiful script: I was very lucky to have known Iris Turcott who was the original dramaturge. She recommended I come in to read for the part of Jasmeet back when the script was still being workshopped. After I read the script I knew that this was a piece I HAD to be a part of. 

 Firstly, getting to work with Anusree was something I really wanted to do because I so respect the voice she’s brought to Toronto theatre. Secondly, the play deals with so many relevant issues not just within the South Asian community but within all communities at large. Thirdly, I fell in love with Jasmeet — everything she represents, her intelligence, her passion and her vulnerability. I knew that this was a part I had to play and was so keen to tackle.

I am very grateful to be a part of the birth of this piece.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Embrace The Courage of Tamil Widows

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The discrimination of widows in our Tamil culture has been passed down from generation to generation and is still in full practice in this modern day and age. Our ancestors believed in this treatment and due to migration, it has emerged in the traditions of South Asian communities around the world. It is mind boggling that the very instant that a woman loses her husband, she is treated as if her life no longer has any purpose.

Where does this entitlement come from?  Isn’t it already bad enough that they have just lost their significant other and life partner?  Apparently, this means nothing in our culture completely  because our customs dismiss their grief and replaces it with ongoing discrimination everywhere they go, for as long as they live. When a women loses her husband, in our culture her dignity is also taken away from her. One particular tradition that demonstrates this is when widows are discouraged from attending auspicious occasions, (such as weddings) because they are seen as bad luck.

 

This tradition absolutely infuriates me and the concept of bad luck is where I get stumped. I have a number of widows in my family and I have born witness to their mistreatment more times that I can count.  The tradition of shunning widows from auspicious events comes from the belief that they are cursed and bring this energy with them everywhere they go. It has broken my heart to see mothers, who are widows, stand behind and watch their brothers or another male authority figure take over for them during their children’s weddings. A widow should be able to participate in rituals like any other guest at a wedding. But the reality is that they are shut down, seen as a curse on an auspicious day, and told not even to go near the bride and groom. The odd times that they aren’t stopped from participating in wedding proceedings, they are reminded in covert ways that they are the “other” and continue to be marginalized. Interesting enough, men who lose their wives are not condemned by society the same way as females who lose their husbands.

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Though this isn’t necessarily an issue every Tamil individual faces, it is something that widows and their children have to face every day. It is important to understand that we are all one, we are all God’s children and we share this beautiful world with each other. I am a child of a widow and this does not make me worth less than other human being. Similarly, the fact that a woman is a widow has no effect on her intellect, capabilities or personality. Therefore, it should not impact how other people treat her or how they treat her  children.

 

I want my mother to be able to stand beside me at my wedding without fear of judgment or interference from others. If the children of the world stand up for our mothers, aunts, sisters, grandmothers, we can create such a difference in this world and end this tradition. We can stop the humiliation these widows endure, not only every single time they attend a function, but the pain they relentlessly experience every day due to blatant discrimination. We live in a generation where independence has become something we admire and value in women.  Widows are the embodiment of this fierce independence because they provide for their families and children by themselves, without a partner to rely on.  For this, and many other reasons we owe them our support and utmost respect.

 

In a traditional aspect, I understand this may stir up controversy amongst the elder generation whom believe these cultural practices are a way of life to prevent bad things from happening, but we need to destroy the idea that widows are “those bad things.” No one ever pauses to ask where these beliefs come from. It certainly did not originate from God or our Hindu scriptures. Placing the blame of every thing that may go wrong at a function on female widows is completely illogical and unfair. Furthermore, excluding them from auspicious events only serves to inflict more pain and serves as a constant reminder of their grief.

 

Please help me, help them be happy, the way they deserve to. Help me celebrate the courage, resilience and strength these women possess. Please ask yourself if these practices have merit and question any practice that discriminates one group of people from the rest of society. Next time you find yourself at an auspicious occasion  and you witness any discrimination towards a widow, please speak up. Change starts with you!  As the wise Martin Luther King once said, “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

 

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What are you listening to? TC on the Street checks out SAAAC, the 8th year!

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We had the pleasure of attending South Asian Autism Awareness Centre (SAAAC)’s Radiant Night 2017. Check out the latest “TC on the Street” with the always hilarious Ari.

Interested in being part of the TC team? Or have an idea for a video – reach out to us at info@tamilculture.com.

Are you single? Are you interested in creating your own love story by meeting Tamil singles in your city and across the world? Join myTamilDate.com!

Related articles:

“Shanthi’s Story: How This Mom is Supporting Her Two Children With Autism”
“The Power of Autism”
“Geetha Moorthy, A Voice For Autism”
“The South Asian Autism Awareness Centre”

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From Gutter to Psych Ward

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I was born on October 30th 1989, in Jaffna Sri Lanka. My parents, sister and I immigrated to Canada in 1994 when I was 4 years old, taking up residence in every rundown apartment that Montreal had to offer.  

 

My father’s role of choice was to not be much of a father. Instead, he lived his life either being absent or drunk. Never choosing to do the honorable thing and be there for us emotionally or financially. His relationship with my mom was precarious, with them breaking up and getting back together more times than I could count.

 

Our living style mirrored our family life, as we moved around a lot due to my mom’s incessant hoarding which lead to quite a few eviction notices posted on our doors. This hardship was felt even more during the unforgiving winter seasons which felt much worse as poverty continued to encroach in our lives.

 

At the persuasion of my mother’s brother, we moved to Vancouver in 1998. We lived in a one bedroom apartment facing the beautiful mountains of British Colombia. However, the beauty of what was out the window couldn’t change the fact that the space was too cramped for the four of us to share. The discomfort of the four people sleeping in one bed was a despairing reminder of our bleak reality. Making the situation worse, my father continued to view parties and alcohol as more important than the wellbeing of his family. Eventually he left for good. From then on, till 2013 we moved from one dilapidated apartment to the next at least ten times. My mother, never having worked a day in her life in Canada decided to instead spend all her time living off welfare.

 

It didn’t become better as my sister and I got older. Any desire for normalcy was quickly dissuaded with the constant physical and verbal abuse we received from our mother. We weren’t allowed to socialize outside of our home and the word ‘friends’ was only limited to the popular sitcom. On the surface, I tried to make my life a big comedy show, making a joke out everything. It was my way of coping and it worked as I tried to deal with the stress I felt at home.

 

I didn’t care much for college. I didn’t want to be in college. In 2012 I was living at home and I felt empty inside. I never got to experience life further than screams and beatings from my mother. I was still a virgin and still have never kissed a girl or gone on a date. Instead, I was left with the nagging voices of my mom and sister forcing me to graduate college. I knew they wanted a better life for me as my mother, to my dismay and protests, sold her wedding bangles for a mere $1000 to help pay for my tuition.  It was too much pressure for me and as much as I tried I couldn’t muster up much motivation.

 

I dropped out of school, unable to finish the semester. The guilt of my mother selling her wedding bangles pressed against my chest as I told her of my decision.

 

She told me and I quote, “If I didn’t know you were going to be such a failure at life, I would have just kept the bracelets.”  She buried me when I was down, an act which I was all too familiar with and despite it, a part of me always longed for her to just tell me it was going to be okay. But that approval never came, instead I was left feeling like I was never good enough.  It was as if I gave up and from then on I refused to eat or sleep. Instead I barricaded myself in the room and wanted to die. All I could repeat to myself is that I should die, this is not worth it anymore.

Support-TC-3

 

My mom eventually called the ambulance and they hauled me to the psych ward. The psych ward was in Vancouver General hospital, and the rooms were dark and isolated, feeling more like a prison. I was extremely depressed and suicidal at this point and had no idea where I was or why I was there. Since I refused to make eye contact with anyone, or engage with any of the patients in the psych ward, the doctors were convinced I was depressed and put me on anti-depressants right away. It didn’t seem to have much effect and after 10 days they moved me to UBC hospital. While I was at UBC they experimented with every anti-depressant and eventually it triggered my hypomania/mania where I felt extremely happy for no reason. At this point, the doctors were able to figure out what was happening to me, they diagnosed my bipolar disorder type 1 and put me on a mood stabilizer. After a few weeks, I felt my mind at ease I was no longer anxious like I used to be. They released me on the condition that I would take my meds every day without fail.

 

Once I left the psych ward, I went home and continued my life as if I hadn’t gone to the psych ward. I poured out my medication and pretended those 60 days hadn’t happened. Instead of using the medication that helped stabilize me, I turned to partying, weed and alcohol as a form of self-medication. I stopped listen to the people around me. For the next three years, my life became like my moods, a series of roller-coaster rides with no clear end in sight. There was a constant battle in my head, but I fought against it because I felt I could get away with anything. These years were stressful and I eventually came to the conclusion that I needed to change something so my life wouldn’t stay the same as it had all of these years. 

 

In August 2015 my mom, sister, and I found out from our landlord we were being evicted again. At this point, I had been fired from 2 separate jobs because my mood disordered kept me back from functioning normally.  The moment I found out we were moving again everything made sense to me. I had to take my meds every day for my life to change. With that action, my life changed and I moved out on October 2015.

 

I was able to take full control of my life.  I went back to Stand-up Comedy and finish third place.  I found a full time job that paid well and helped me be independent.  I met my girlfriend Courtney as well and to this day I am extremely happy. As hard as it was to accept the diagnosis, it was something I needed to do to regain control of my life and my future. It was that diagnosis that pulled me out my out of the life that once was to the life that now is.

 

My name is Nish, and that was my story.

 

The post From Gutter to Psych Ward appeared first on TamilCulture.com.

Tamils of Silicon Valley

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Enjoy part 1 of our new series ‘Tamils of Silicon Valley’, spotlighting top Tamil talent in the region. 

 

It seems like not a day goes by that we don’t hear about Silicon Valley; the epicentre of the tech industry. Nestled south of the San Francisco Bay Area, tech elite from all over the world have flocked to the region known for spawning some of the most recognizable and innovative tech products. 

 

It may thus come as no surprise that many of India’s most talented tech minds have come to call Silicon Valley home.

 

silicon-valley

 

As highlighted by Sunainaa Chadha in an article for Firspost, Indian success in Silicon Valley can be traced to the first wave of Indian migrants who settled in the region in the 1970s and 1980s.

 

“They decided to forget which part of India they were born in and just focus on the cause. When the first generation of Indians in Silicon Valley succeeded in shattering the glass ceiling, they decided to help others follow their path. They realised that they had all surmounted the same obstacles. And that they could reduce the barriers to entry for others behind them by sharing their experiences and opening some doors,” said Vivek Wadhwa in an article for the Economic Times.

 

According to Wadhwa, the conscious development of an Indian tech community shaped successive generations of Indians seek opportunities outside of the traditional realm of engineering, towards careers in tech management.

 

Today, “almost all the big US technology companies have technology pioneers of Indian descent, including the fathers of the USB and technology blogging” wrote Samuel Gibbs in an article for the Guardian. In fact, according to a study conducted by Wadhwa in 2014, 15 percent of startups in Silicon Valley have been founded by Indians, despite just consisting of 6 percent of the region’s working population.

 

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One of the most famous and successful Indian faces of Silicon Valley is Sundar Pichai, CEO of Google. He is perhaps the most recognizable Indian-Tamil success story in Silicon Valley. However, there are many other Indians and Indians of Tamil descent who have reached great heights of success within the US tech industry, including: Ram Shriram, Board Member of Google; Meyya Meyyappan, Chief Scientist for Exploration Technology at the Center for Nanotechnology, NASA Ames Research Center; and S. Somasegar, Corporate Vice President of the Developer Division at Microsoft.

 

Given the contributions of the Indian community in Silicon Valley, it is no wonder that many tech corporations in the US continue to seek cream of the crop talent from India’s prestigious Indian Institutes of Technology, which have spawned minds like Pichai of Google and Satya Nadella of Microsoft. However, while working in the US may have previously been presented as the ultimate opportunity to work in the centre of the global tech industry, while also presenting a chance to live a new way of life, the attractiveness of working in Silicon Valley may be beginning to fade.

 

iit madras

 

The same multinational corporations that used to entice engineers to leave India started making their way into the country in the late 1980s and have picked up, offering many Indians competitive salaries and enticing job prospects closer to home, as posited by Ananya Bhattacharya for Quartz.

 

A booming tech industry within India, a rapidly growing economy, in addition to recent threats made by President Donald Trump to overhaul America’s immigration policy may serve to curtail the migration of future generations of Indians in Silicon Valley.

 

Skilled Indian tech workers have long used the specialty occupation H-1B visa to work in the United States, a visa category President Trump began calling into question during the 2016 election. As highlighted in a study by Goldman Sachs, about 70 percent of the 85,000 H-1B visas granted in 2015 were issued to engineers, designers and coders from India. The threat of potential restrictions to the popular H-1B visa has left many stakeholders in Silicon Valley businesses concerned about the future health of their companies, as many have sought and relied on top international talent in order to achieve success and remain competitive in one of the world’s most challenging industries.

 

While the future generation of Indian growth in Silicon Valley remains unclear, it is undeniable that many Indians have left a mark in the Mecca of the tech industry. While growth, diversity and innovation in Silicon Valley may be facing new challenges, this will certainly not cease ingenuity and success for tech minds within the Indian, and at that, the Indian-Tamil community.  

 

If you or someone you know works in Silicon Valley we’d love to hear from you! Share your experiences with me at: Shanelle.k@tamilculture.com. We might just discuss your experiences in an upcoming article.

The post Tamils of Silicon Valley appeared first on TamilCulture.com.

Our Slurring Mother Tongue

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Cultural days in the workplace are common in South Africa as we celebrate Heritage Day (Picture credit: Wilderness Safaris)

Meeting and socializing with people who come from different cultural backgrounds is a wonderful thing. Spending time with a diverse set of people helps us to break psychological conditioning and perceptions we may have about others. Being a part of the Tamil diaspora in South Africa has provided me this incredible opportunity. It also allows us Tamils to share a little bit of ourselves with the rest of the world and in doing so, we reflect  the cultural identity of the communities we grew up with. Whenever I find myself in a room full of global citizens, the language of communication is always English, spoken in a multitude of accents.

 

I never considered what my own accent sounded like to people from different parts of the world until I got asked a few times if I was from the UK (English with a bit of Indian). This question amused me because for one, I’ve never visited the UK and two, I think that I have quite a Durban Indian accent. Regardless of the fact that I belong to the fourth generation, there is still a hint of an Indian accent that comes through in how I pronounce the words.

 

It is an interesting observation to note that my two year old nephew has picked up little Durban Indian phrases such as ‘therewah’ in favour of the more grammatically correct ‘there you are’. Those of us in our household who unconsciously use this phrase have now been passed it down to a Johannesburg fifth-generation toddler.

 

I have a colleague of North African descent who is the ONLY person in my day greeting me with, ‘Vannakum.’ One day I explained what it meant and he fully respects the richness of the Tamil culture. In general, Tamil South Africans have stopped calling each other akka (older sister) and anna (older brother), or Amma (mother) and Appa (father).

Absolute South African Tamil Indian expressions come into every day conversation and get more intense if the audience members belong to a similar culture. There is also a mixing of general South African phrases. A few that come to mind are:

 “I’m vying pozie, exse” – translated: I’m going home, buddy!

“Hey bra, whatkind?” – translated: Hi my friend (bra is an adaptation from bro/brother), how are you doing?

“Pull in outie, got span dops here” – translated: Come for a visit my friend, there are plenty of drinks here!

Lukka larnie – translated: All is well, boss-man.

 

As I write these phrases I can’t help but chuckle to myself because no one else except a Durban South African Indian can understand the sentence structure or weird grammar that I have used. All this means is that we’ve created our own little linguistic nuances. Even though they will definitely confuse others, those that belong to our community in South Africa will understand each other perfectly. I find it remarkable that even the most educated among us will still be able to communicate to each other in this way, while concurrently hold a stimulating conversation with other people in proper English.

 

This leads me to the point of language. Sadly, many of us in South Africa have not maintained a link to the language of our forefathers, or our mother tongue. This happened for a number of reasons ,but mostly as a result of generational change. We’re living in a western environment with many global influences. Asian cultures are considered extra-curricular knowledge in our community.  Unfortunately, due to the constraints of time and financial resources, there is no demand for language classes. The impact of this could be used for a social study as it influences music and religious practices too.

 

Learn Tamil

 

I have to confess that I get a little embarrassed when someone asks me how many languages I can speak: one and a half.  The half is for Afrikaans, derived from Dutch, which was a compulsory second language forming part of the school curriculum during the days of apartheid in South Africa. I can only write this off to a lack of effort on my part (notice the accountability). The resources exist but I always default to the silly excuse that there is no time to attend classes. Of course, learning Tamil features on the to-do list for many of us South Africans. We get distracted by life’s demands and so it shifts in priority. Learning Tamil certainly would re-energise a rich and complex South African Tamil culture and it might even help us connect further with our history.

 

Oftentimes I find myself knowing the words to the Tamil music and connecting so deeply to the lyrics. A strong part of me wishes that I knew the intricate meaning of the words. For those of you who feel the same way, here are a few organizations committed to supporting the Tamil Culture in South Africa.

South African Tamil Federation http://satamilfed.org.za/#home

Thamizha https://www.facebook.com/groups/satamilunity/

 

Africa

The post Our Slurring Mother Tongue appeared first on TamilCulture.com.

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